Life As We Know It

The shortcut icon on my homepage that leads to my blog has been glaring at me for days now. Click me! Click me! Be creative and witty! Record your life! Update your family and friends!

Hmmm.

I would briefly consider it and then click on the icon for Facebook and then forget all about the fact that actually have a blog and that I used to love visiting it every day. Then I would catch up there and click on over to check the news (Nobel Peace Prize??? Really?), then end up chasing links for an obscene length of time. (Google "where is Chuck Norris" and click "I'm feeling lucky"). All of this to say that a great deal has happened between now and the last time I posted, but I've basically wasted all my internet time doing other stuff.

Despite moments of homesickness, I am really beginning to feel like this is my real life. My job is going well, and I'm more at ease with the people there. I don't feel like an outsider looking in anymore, although I still miss my old friends at Northeast. We are involved in our church with Awanas, children's choir, adult choir and Sunday school. People are starting to look familiar and I can say hello to them by name instead of just vaguely waving at them and smiling. Facebook has actually helped with this since I am a tactile/visual learner and seeing their names next to a picture really helps me to remember them.

Trevor is very busy at work these days, and is increasingly more and more thankful for his short commute. He gets the kids off to school in the morning, and then is able to work until 5:30 and still be home before six. It really makes our days seem longer (in a good way), because we are not spending hours of it in our cars between work and home. I am here when the kids get home from school, and they have plenty of time to unwind, complete homework and play before it's time to start getting ready for bed.

Nathan is doing exceptionally well in third grade. He has straight As, and is making so many friends. He comes home from school each afternoon excited about his day, and eager to show me his work. His love of reading has really taken off in the last few months, and he is consuming books at an alarming rate. I need to make a trip to the bookstore and stock up for him so we won't run out. He has hundreds of books, but they are for the most part not chapter books, and that's what he wants to read. He's started reading the Harry Potter series, and blew through Charlie and the Chocolate Factory so I think it's time to expand our children's library!

Grace is having a harder time in school. This is the first time in her life that she is not surrounded by people that she knows, and it's clear from her behavior that she's uncomfortable. Her teacher reports that she doesn't seem to want to make friends, and that she pushes other children away. Her schoolwork is fine and she enjoys learning, but socially she is not behaving the way that she normally does. It's unusual, because Gracie is the one who normally jumps right in to whatever is going on and plays with whoever happens to be there. She has become prone to cry when things don't go her way, and she is much more sensitive to perceived offenses. We do see improvement at church, and are thankful for her teachers who continue to show her love when she is sometimes a little bit unlovable. We know that this will pass as she becomes more comfortable in her new environment.

I am over the top excited because Mama is coming to visit this Wednesday. The kids are on fall break next Thursday through Monday, and she decided to come up and see us while we had some time off. I can't remember the last time I went this long without seeing her, and I really miss her. We talk on the phone and occasionally Skype, but it's not the same as having her here. We plan to go home for Christmas, but I am glad for this interim visit. We don't really have any plans, but I'm sure it will involve doing something fun with the kids.

Amber had her 20 week ultrasound this past Monday and received the news that she and David are having a boy! His name is Travis Cole, and he is due on February 18. I am so excited to have a new nephew and although I did wish that Gracie would have a girl cousin, I am really happy for them. My hope is that we can spend all of spring break in Louisiana so I can spend some time with all of them!

So here we are on Saturday morning, enjoying the cool temperatures (it's 37--whoo hoo!), and looking forward to a weekend of rest and relaxation. I was home sick from work week before last with a killer sinus infection, and am exhausted from this past week back at work. The idea of doing nothing this weekend sounds just right to me!

He's Missing in the Details

There's only one toothbrush in the bathroom.
The level of clean boxers and t-shirts doesn't diminish daily.
I can't call anytime of the day just to chat.
The other side of the bed is cold when I migrate over in the middle of the night.
The fridge is covered with pictures and messages from the kids.
I had to put the new glider together by myself.
There was no one to enjoy the new glider with me once it was assembled.
There is one less dish to fill and then clean after dinner.
The 12-pack of Dr. Pepper is still full in the fridge.

I miss Trevor. It's been a long time since he has had to go to China (for which I am grateful), but I still miss him. I notice his absence in the little things, and then my thoughts wander down the path of permanent absence. What would I do if this were my life? What would I do without him?

I would live, of course. I would breathe in and out. I would wake up each morning, get up and care for our children. This is what I tell myself when those thoughts creep in. I force myself to do things that could wait until he gets home. I guess it's a way to prove to myself that I could do it if I had to.

But I don't want to.

But I could. When he gets home on the 5th, I'll be ever so excited and I will be grateful for yet another safe trip and return. I will be overjoyed that he is back with us and that I don't have to go on another minute without him. But as God as my witness, (and strength) I could.

My 200th Post!

When I reached the 100th post milestone, I was still new enough to blogging that I was not aware of the quaint little tradition of posting 100 things about myself. So in honor of my 200th post, here we go:

1. My eyes are blue.

2. My dad called me his pretty blue-eyed princess when I was little.

3. My dad still calls me that.

4. I'm 35.

5. I don't have a spleen, which makes for interesting party conversation.

6. My favorite color is blue.

7. I own 30 books about Elizabeth I.

8. I had Bell's palsy when I was an infant.

9. I craved nectarines when I was pregnant with Nathan.

10. I didn't crave anything when I was pregnant with Gracie.

11. I have 3 double-first cousins. My dad's brother married my mom's sister.

12. I love the Laura Ingall's Wilder books. I got the entire set for Christmas when I was about 9 and have read them all through at least 20 times.

13. My best friend from high school died last year.

14. My favorite drink is Coke Zero Vanilla.

15. I have been blogging for 8 months, 14 days.

16. I sing alto.

17. My favorite movie to watch when I'm sick is Gone With the Wind.

18. I secretly like being sick because I get to stay at home alone and lay around all day in my PJs.

19. My favorite season is fall and I love the smell of burning leaves.

20. This one is blank because I accidentally put two for #19.

21. I prefer the New King James Version of the Bible.

22. I was baptized on the Fourth of July, 1983.

23. I have had 17 pets over the course of my life.

24. I was born in Louisiana, but moved to Texas at age 4.

25. I hate liver. I do not eat filters.

26. I had both of my children by planned c-section. I have never experienced labor pain.

27. I make a quilt for all new babies in the family.

28. I am the middle child. 2 years younger than my brother and 7 years older than my sister.

29. I like beer, but not wine.

30. I wanted football pads and a helmet for Christmas when I was in 6th grade.

31. I was a total tomboy.

32. I hate wearing high heels. I would wear jeans and a t-shirt all the time if I could get away with it.

33. I like the toilet paper to dispense over the top of the roll, not underneath.

34. Ditto for paper towels.

35. My favorite Glade holiday scent is Glistening Snow. I buy all the candles, Plug-ins and sprays so my house smells great all season long.

36. I am the photographer in the family, and as a result, my children will probably think that their father raised them single handedly since there are very few pictures of me with them.

37. Before I was married, I slept under a down comforter year round.

38. I hate making small talk with people I don't know.

39. Both of my grandfathers have passed away, but my grandmothers are still living.

40. I met my husband in 8th grade.

41. I can peel crawfish at an alarming rate.

42. I play the trombone and the piano.

43. I drive a Tahoe and it's the best vehicle that I have ever owned.

44. I have owned a Tempo, Camaro, Explorer and Taurus.

45. I have been to Italy.

46. I have not been to the West Coast.

47. I am totally hooked on Survivor. I anxiously await each new season and watch it every week.

48. I start listening to Christmas music around October.

49. I try to have all of my Christmas shopping done by December 1st.

50. Thinking of 100 things to say about myself is proving to be more difficult than I thought.

51. I went to Texas A&M University. (Whoop!)

52. The flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz scared the crap out of me when I was a kid.

53. I love cinnamon swirl coffee.

54. I like to give handmade (or homemade cooked) gifts.

55. I had an Oscar the Grouch hand puppet that I was terrified of when I was about 4 years old.

56. My mom and dad made my brother let me play with his Bert puppet instead.

57. My brother and I used to turn my sister's doorknob around and lock her in her room when my parents left us in charge.

58. I don't have a middle name.

59. I have chili pepper red walls in my living room.

60. My thumbs are claustrophobic.

61. I have lived in a town called Pumpkin Center.

62. It's one of my favorite places on earth.

63. My son sleeps in the room that was mine when I was a child.

64. I like Puff's better than Kleenex.

65. Sometimes I take Lunesta to help me sleep.

66. I'm (sadly) allergic to Demerol.

67. I like to eat cream cheese plain.

68. I also like to pour strawberry jam over it and then spread it on graham crackers

69. I have never bought a purse that cost more than $50.

70. I love getting personal mail.

71. I have to sleep on the left side of the bed.

72. I love to read, and usually have 3 books going at one time.

73. Trevor and I have our own language strictly based on quotes from Tombstone and Steel Magnolias.

74. I never go shopping on Black Friday.

75. I have heard/seen parts of the movie Cars roughly 357 times, but have never sat down and watched it in it's entirety.

76. I burned the print off my thumb on a grill when I was two, and it cured me of sucking it.

77. I don't like people in my personal space unless I know them really, really well.

78. I had my first kiss in 8th grade.

79. He was one of my brother's friends.

80. I had a huge crush on him.

81. It never went anywhere.

82. He was a senior in high school.

83. I like to do things really fast (clean, talk, work) and get irritated with slow people.

84. I have been told that I need to slow down.

85. I miss my husband when he is gone to China on business, but love having the bed to myself.

86. My house is usually neat and clean, but if you open my closets stuff will fall on your head.

87. I didn't want to change my name when I got married. I liked my maiden name, but I got over it.

88. I am still a little scared of thunder.

89. I am allergic to wool, which isn't really a problem living here on the Gulf coast.

90. I can't tell you how relieved I am to be here at #90.

91. I am really proud of my scrapbook pages. One day I might even post them.

92. My children are the most beautiful children in the world.

93. I have above-average intelligence.

94. I am married to the absolute love of my life.

95. My favorite popcorn is Pop Secret Homestyle.

96. One of my favorite smells is freshly opened Play-Doh.

97. I started reading Stephen King novels the summer of my 5th grade year.

98. I have lived in 8 different cities.

99. I have lived in 17 different houses/apartments.

100. I thank God every day for His grace and mercy.

Everyone still awake? If you are still with me, thanks for hanging in there and reading down to the end of my list! Aren't you glad I didn't opt for 200 things?

Tales From the Playroom

I walked into the playroom to check on Nathan and Grace, and found Nathan up to his neck in a sleeping bag. He looked over at me and said:

"Look! I'm in my pupa stage!"

The Rhythm of Our Days

I must take this opportunity to say that our time away from the kids was, well....strange. The first morning without the responsibility of getting them up and dressed was bizarre. I was dressed and ready to walk out the door in 15 minutes flat. (I am very low-maintenance...no makeup and I wear scrubs to work) I arrived at work long before I intended to, so Tuesday morning I slept later and took my sweet time getting dressed and driving to work. I still got there a little early, but better than Monday.

Monday evening after work, Trevor and I met for dinner and then found ourselves at Barnes and Noble going our separate ways. I found a few new books and enjoyed the leisurely browsing without constantly checking my watch. Tuesday night we met for a movie (Transformers...great special effects/way too long) and then wandered around Best Buy afterwards. We decided to get some coffee and as we were sitting there sipping our lattes, Trevor announced that he was hungry, so we went across the street to Chili's and had a late dinner.

We got home around 10 pm (which might as well be 2 am as far as we are concerned!) and didn't go to bed until around 11. We were a bit horrified when we rolled out of bed around 9 am because we knew that we would have a terrible time getting up Thursday morning for work, but it was still sort of nice to sleep for as long as we wanted to. Even on days off, I still have the kids there to wake me up if I dare sleep past 7 am, so it was a nice change!

When spent a good portion of the morning cleaning Nathan's room and the playroom. "Cleaning" those rooms really means throwing out all of the crap they have accumulated since the last "cleaning". We emptied out all of the toy bins and threw away all of the McDonald's/Burger King/Sonic toys as well as old papers, broken toys and toys that we have always hated, but been unable to pry away from them. We separated baby toys out and put them in several bins to pull out when we have guests with really little kids. The others we put aside to donate to the church.

We rearranged Nathan's room and added some Lightening McQueen/Mater decorating accents for good measure. The tactic worked, because Nathan was so enamoured with his new room that he didn't even notice all the things that were missing.

We spent the early afternoon shopping together and then I rented a few movies and we curled up for a long afternoon of movies and relaxation. It was great to just sit around without getting up every 10 minutes to check and see if that piercing scream was from a severed limb or from run of the mill teasing. No baths to take, no hair to wash and dry, no bedtime prayers to say.

It was terrible.

Strangely enough, this was the bizarre portion of the time without the kids. I missed rhythm of our days and nights together, although I didn't miss the day to day grind of discipline and feeling like all I ever do is fuss at them. The break made me realize that I do so much more than fuss and correct Nathan and Grace. All of the little moments that we spend talking, playing and praying are precious and I spend more time than I realized doing those things with my kids. It made me feel better about my mothering skills (and who hasn't had those thoughts run through their head from time to time?) and about the kind of life my children have in general.

All in all, Trevor and I hold our own in the "raising kids" department. There is always room for improvement and God-willing we will always strive to become better parents, but on the whole, we're not doing too badly. For now, I'm just glad to have my beautiful children back home where they belong. I have to go....I think I hear Grace splashing around in the bathroom. Is that splashing coming from the sink or the toil........Grace!!!!!!!!!

Little Miss Crankypants

I am so cranky. Just ask my husband. Or my kids. Or my...well, you get the picture. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I have cut my food intake by more than half. (Insert me grumbling, Homer Simpson style...."stupid diet") Or maybe it's because I can't find four or five items of Gracie's clothing anywhere, and it is eating away at the edge of my brain like an overly ambitious mouse. Or maybe it's because I'm working full, 8 hour days now instead of the 6 or 7 that I had become accustomed to.

Who am I kidding? It's all of those things, plus a dozen more that can't even be vocalized much less written down. I have recently felt like my life is a little out of control. I can't even put my finger on it to give it a name, but I feel like my entire life is an unorganized, chaotic mess. Nothing seems to please me like it used to and although I have had so many little victories with regard to my temper and my marriage, everything still feels odd.

It's as if I'm standing at the edge of an abyss just waiting to be pushed in. There is this lingering sensation that there is change coming, but I can't figure out why. Nothing has changed here...my life is the same. No warning bells or whistles, no impending life changes and everyone is enjoying pretty good health. So why the heavy feeling in my chest and the sensation that my life is careening down a darkened highway sans headlights and seatbelts? Your guess is as good as mine.

The things that keep me from jumping from the car in a panic are simple. For instance, I was playing the piano the other night and Gracie came and sat down next to me. She said that she wanted to sing, and when I asked her what song, she said, "Welcome Me". That is Graciespeak for the hymn "He Keeps Me Singing". This is a reference to the last verse that starts with the words "Soon He's coming back to welcome me". She sang along with gusto and then said, "Now, very soft", so we sang it through again in whispers. How could that sort of interaction not brighten my day?

Then there is Nathan. He is six and so full of questions (and interesting answers, I might add) that I think my head might explode sometimes. If nothing else, he keep me on my toes and is the kid equivalent to a lie detector test. If you've ever had a six year old, then you know what I mean. Everything is black and white, and his ability to (selectively) remember every thing that I have ever said is uncanny. To be honest, it's a little creepy. He remembers things that I can't.

Oh, and apparently I don't have a functioning brain based on the things that he tells me. He uses that voice reserved for the severely mentally handicapped when he explains that he is not wearing clogs, he is wearing Crocs. What is really funny is that he confidently engages in argumentative conversation with the absolute certainty that he is right, even when he's wrong.

Strangely enough, I feel better after getting some of this out on virtual paper. The abyss doesn't seem to be looming and the little victories and joys that I have enjoyed seem more significant.

The Cone of Silence is Lifted

I have recently been accused by the spousal unit of spending too much time online in the evenings. Actually, he thinks I spend too much time on the internet period. So, in the interest of Godly submission and less time on the computer I have not blogged all weekend, including Friday. It was surprisingly liberating, because I have become rather obsessive about blogging every day, and sometimes I really have to stretch to find something to talk about.

The weekend was remarkably uneventful and I spent most of it relaxing or sleeping. We were supposed to attend the VBS parent's night on Friday, but Nathan didn't seem particularly excited about going so we bailed. We ordered Mexican food and after eating and relaxing for a few hours, I mustered up enough energy to cut the grass before the thunderstorms promised by the weatherman materialized.

Nathan spent the night with Kaben and Saturday morning I went to get the boys to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I thought it was awesome, but Nathan and Kaben were picking their noses and wishing that they had thought to bring their Gameboys about half-way through the movie. Nathan really likes the first few Harry Potter movies, but I think that the new ones are just too far beyond his scope of experience. The older the character gets (he's 15 in the new movie) the less that Nathan can relate to him. Harry and his friends deal with more adult issues as they get older and the movie is less action and more dialogue, which bores my 6 year old to tears.

Case in point: Harry kisses a girl on the lips. Now, this was a rather chaste kiss...no craziness, no groping...but Nathan and Kaben (in unison) said, "Ewwwwwww" when it happened. I almost laughed out loud at the stereo gross-out, but was secretly happy that the boys are still little boys and not truly interested in the opposite sex in spite of random comments by Nathan about "hot" girls and the like. When I hear him say things like that (after I close my gaping jaw), I just use it as an opportunity to teach him how to regard girls not as objects, but as smart people with diverse personalities and talents.

Our neighbors had a birthday party that lasted for approximately 12 hours. They must have a lot of friends, because there were cars parked all up and down our street. Now we don't mind large parties and loud music when it is conducted at a reasonable time of the day. But (and this is true to form from what we've seen) their parties last beyond what most people would consider to be a normal length of time. Their guests start arriving at noon or one, and they are still going strong at 11 pm with no signs of stopping. When we walk out on our deck, all we can smell is alcohol and cigarettes and it goes on for hours.

When I woke up Sunday morning, the first thing I did was peek over the fence to see the aftermath and I was not disappointed. Trash and beer cans littered their yard and all I could think was that the mess would not be cleaned up for at least a week. Then again, it's not my yard or my family, so it's really none of my business.

After teaching Sunday School, it was my week to lead children's church during morning worship. Every time that I work with children, it reinforces my belief that I was not cut out for children's ministry. I love my own children and the children of my friends and family, but I am completely and totally uncomfortable with any other children. They make me nervous and I always feel on the verge of losing control when they are in large groups. I've always been this way, and I'd hoped that being a mother would have changed some of that for me, but clearly it has not. I volunteer to help with the kids at church because my own children participate in the program and I feel that parents should be involved, but that is the only reason.

We all have spiritual gifts, and working with kids is most definitely not mine. My prayer is that I can just get through the time that I have committed to work with a cheerful spirit and a gracious attitude.

When I got home from church, I ate lunch and then went directly to bed for a nap. I slept for about 2 hours and woke up in a much better frame of mind, and feeling 100% refreshed. We finished the day with fajitas and homemade tortillas, and now I am looking forward to a new week. Praise God for restful weekends and productive work weeks.

The Plan

The plan was to do nothing today. The plan was to lay around, eat left-over chicken spaghetti for lunch and lay around some more. But as often happens in our house, the plan fell through. What actually happened was this:

Gracie woke me up at a 6:15 am and was promptly sent back to bed. We finally rolled out of bed at 8:20 am, and I was feeling pretty confident that my relaxing day was off to a good start. Until I made it to the kitchen and remembered that Kaben had spent the night and heard Gracie clamoring for pancakes. So, I pulled out the recipe I've been using since I was about 8 years old and made a batch of pancakes for breakfast while Trevor made a big pot of Community coffee.

Just as I was taking my pancakes off the griddle, the kids were finishing theirs so I cleaned sticky fingers and faces so they could get down to the business of playing. By the time I sat down with my breakfast, the best rating I could give it was lukewarm but at least the coffee was strong and hot. After I ate, I figured it was time to start relaxing in earnest so I took my dishes to the kitchen and started back to the living room to read a few blogs and check my email.

Trevor went outside to do some work on the vehicles and after some time on the computer, I decided that I needed to go ahead and take a shower and get dressed in preparation for all the laziness I had planned for my day. I was drying off when Trevor came in to tell me Charly and Nick were in the living room (Trevor's brother's wife and their son), so I spent the next 30 minutes or so talking to her but still attempting to live the dream of rest and relaxation.

Charly went to gather Nick to go home, but he was having such a good time that he didn't want to leave. I said that he could stay while Charly finished running (a completely separate story of insanity in this heat) and so she left and Nick made four. Nick wanted to hold the gerbils so I took Lucky out of the cage, and noticed that the cage was getting a bit ripe. I put the gerbils in their exercise balls and cleaned the cage. While I was dumping the bedding in the trash can in the utility room, I noticed that the laundry was taking over the room. And so it started.

After the cage was cleaned and the gerbils were repatriated, I retired to the utility room where the clothes were calling. I put a load on to wash and then noticed (do you see a pattern here?) that there was a mound of Gracie's clothes that needed to be ironed. So, I began to iron in between quelling rebellion and strife in the playroom and running outside to make sure that Gracie and Nick weren't drinking the bubbles. Before long, it was noon and my day of "relaxation" was half gone.

As I was slathering bread with peanut butter and jelly, Charly came back. The kids ate at the counter, and I fulfilled part of my plan by eating left-over chicken spaghetti for lunch. It was quite tasty and Charly undid all of her hard work and sweat in roughly 10 minutes by eating with me. We took Nick and Gracie outside to swing, visited for awhile and then based on the exponential increase in whining, determined that it was nap time for the kids.

I finished the ironing and put another load of laundry on, and then ran to the store for a new dress and a few items for our trip to Florida next week. By the time I got home it was 4:30, Gracie was up from her nap and my enchanting friend Kellye had picked Kaben up.

I guess the point today is that the way we plan things is not always the way things turn out. I was irritated at the time that my day was filling up with chores and responsibility, but now as I reflect on it I realize that God sent so many blessings my way and I completely missed them in the midst of my chaotic life. I had the opportunity to share breakfast and coffee with my family, to see my nephew and visit with Charly, and to have some alone time while I was shopping.

Lord, please open my eyes so that I can drink in the blessings that You give me every day. My very life is a blessing...my soul has been purchased by the blood of Jesus Christ and I rely on You to renew me each morning. Your grace is sufficient for me.

One More Night

Well, my evening is not turning out the way that I had planned. According to my plan, I was was supposed to sweep in with a box of Popeye's chicken and biscuits, set the kids up with a picnic in the fort and cut the grass as they ate their dinner and enjoyed the great outdoors. The way it happened was that I swept in with the box of chicken and biscuits to a chorus of "I don't want chicken". Not only that, but Gracie had a fever of 103.4 and I was not about to put her outside to eat in the heat. So, plan B involved a blanket on the living room floor in front of the TV for an indoor picnic.

Although not quite according to plan, dinner turned out pretty well in spite of earlier protests as to the content. So, I went out side for the "cut the grass" portion of the plan only to discover that the lawn mower wouldn't start. Well, it would start but it bellowed smoke and the engine had a sad, feeble sound just before it died. I spent a good 20 minutes in the sun trying to figure it out (as well as a phone call to Trevor) and finally gave up. What this meant for me was that I was hot and sweaty as though I had been mowing, without the satisfaction of a freshly mowed lawn.

So here I am, preparing for my last evening without Trevor trying to decide what to do first. The sheets need to be changed on our bed, because there is no better feeling than to slip in between fresh clean sheets after a 17 hour flight. That is one thing that I always do the morning he gets gets home so that it is ready and waiting for him. I have laundry to take care of, dinner to make for myself, the kids need baths and medicine, the trash can needs to be brought in from the road and I would like a little down time for myself somewhere in there! Oh well...such is the life of a mother. I have to keep asking myself the question, "Will any of this matter in 6 months?" If the answer in "no" then I try not to let myself stress over it. I have more important things to stress and worry about without sweating the small stuff. Actually, I shouldn't stress and worry about anything. Jesus said:

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34

Amen and amen!

The countdown is moving forward. In 22 hours I will be in Trevor's arms again and the anticipation of that reunion is enough to get me through tonight with no worries!

Are Events Conspiring Against Me?

For the last week and a half, my life has been a series of unfortunate events that seem to have a life of their own and are conspiring against me. Each event just builds on the next, perhaps hoping that it will be the one that breaks me. Take, for instance, this morning. Everyone is well-versed in the health issues that have plagued the kids in the last few days, and I was so happy this morning when I got up because they were both fever-free and going back to Heather's!

I took my shower, happily lathering up and thanking God for restoring health to my children and for helping me to get through the stress of recent days. Then I got out. I got out of the shower and saw that Heather had called my cell phone at 6:22 am, so I called her back. I figured that she was just confirming that the kids were coming, but no. Paige was sick with a fever of 103! She said she didn't mind keeping them, but I didn't want to chance them getting sick again and going through all of that again.

So (and here the drama begins), I looked at the clock and saw that it was 6:30 am and my mind began working furiously to organize what I needed to do before I had to leave for work at 7 am. I called Trevor's mom and she agreed to keep Nathan, and I told her that I would bring him to her house. Then I called the church daycare to see if they could keep Gracie for one day. Thankfully they were able to, and so I sprinted to the kitchen to get a lunch ready for Grace.

After slapping together a PB&J and filling a lunch bag with snacks and juice, I woke Grace up and lit a fire under Nathan to hurry up. Once Grace was dressed, I ran to the bathroom to quickly dry my hair and finish getting dressed. This morning was one of many mornings that I was thankful that I don't wear makeup, hence one less thing to do.

I made sure everyone had their teeth brushed and hair combed before collecting the last of the stuff that they would need during the day. I grabbed two packages of Pop-Tarts and 2 bananas for the kid's breakfast (nutrition was the last thing on my mind!) and sped out the door with 2 bags, 1 purse, 1 backpack, 1 pillow, 1 blanket and my keys. Whew!

Once I got the kids buckled in, I realized that I left my cell phone on the counter. Back into the house, relock the door and then off we went. I usually leave the house at 7 am and it was now 7:11 am and I was beginning to stress.

Would you believe that I was out of gas?

Diesel to be accurate, but either way I had to fuel up before I took Nathan out to Trevor's parent's house or I would run out. Auughhh! So I dropped Gracie off at church, and then pulled into the gas station to fill up the car. I pulled up next to the diesel pump and realized that the elderly man who was on the other side of the pump was using my nozzle.

Huh?

Well, using it is not really accurate since he was just holding it as he carried on a very lively conversation with another gentleman about something farm related. I asked him if he was finished with the nozzle and he gave it back so I could use it. The other man gave me a dirty look as though I had committed some sort of social faux pas by requesting the use of the nozzle on my side of the pump, but I didn't care. I pumped just enough fuel to get me through the week and hit the road.

After dropping Nathan off, I had to take a back road though acres of farmland to get to work, and so I covered the car in a layer of dust in the process. We'll just add washing the car to the ever-lengthening list of things to do this week. By this time, it was 7:30 and I was just getting on the road to go to work. I made it on time, but I felt all out of sorts and rushed for the first hour or so of work.

So, here I am on my lunch break sitting quietly and trying to get some perspective. It seems silly now, that I was so stressed this morning. Everything was accomplished, the kids are safe and I didn't have to miss work. It was a good lesson for me. I need to step back when my life seems too crazy and just relax. Snapping at people when they call (sorry Kellye!) and fussing at the kids is not going to make the situation any better and I'll just feel badly about it later.

The thankful spirit that I had in those early morning moments in the shower should be there all the time, and not just when life is going the way I think it should. Thank you God. Thank you for taking care of me and for providing events that help shape my character and allow avenues for me to praise you more completely.

Building Anticipation

It's starting. The anticipation of seeing Trevor on Friday is starting to build and I am getting excited. The longer he is away, the more often (and longer) we seem to talk on the phone. It's at about this point that I start to allow myself to think about him, whereas it was too hard last week. When I thought too long and hard about how far away he was and how long it would be before he would be coming home, it would just upset me. But now that we have less than a week to go, I can look forward to his return without being sad about the fact that he's gone.

I think the kids are finally out of the woods with the fever. For the first time in 6 days, Nathan woke up with no fever and Gracie's was low grade. With any luck they will back at Heather's tomorrow and splashing in the wade pool again. They are really enjoying going over to her house and I will be glad to get them back on a schedule again. Silly things like schedules and order seem to fly out the window when there is fever and sickness involved!

Things at work are really insane right now. It's vacation season, and because of the recent merger with Memorial Hermann we are required to take several mandatory "indoctrination and propaganda" classes. The problem is that we have people off for vacation and it's a nightmare trying to find class times that correspond to days that everyone is here so that there is adequate coverage. In addition to all of the general classes, I am taking a few extra for administrative training to help Janet out. She has been trying to do the job of two people since Marilyn was let go, and the better trained I am in those areas, the better for all of us.

I need to make a list of things that I have to get done before Friday. Grace has a birthday party to attend Saturday and I need to purchase a gift. I want to cut the grass Thursday evening so it will be done for the weekend and we can just lounge around and enjoy having Trevor home. There are so many more items I need to add to the list and they are just swirling around in my head, irritating me.

I have this weird sense of peace when I finally commit them to paper because it's like I can let go of it. They will not be forgotten now that they are out of my head and on an orderly list. And there is that satisfying single black line through each item as it is completed. I live for those little black lines. Mentally putting the black line through the task doesn't even come close to real pen and paper. Again, we'll just chalk it up to my OCD tendencies with no comments from the peanut gallery.....

The Magical Panties

Yesterday morning, after Grace didn't even make an effort to go to the bathroom and just squatted in the middle of the living room to relieve herself in her Pull-up, I decided to take charge. I have been very lax about her potty training since she has not shown any real interest in staying dry or clean, but she is 3 now and we need to buckle down.

So, off we went to her bedroom to search her top drawer for some panties. About a year ago I bought a package of Dora and a package of Curious George panties. At the time she was really into Dora and I thought that the idea of wearing big-girl panties would inspire her to potty train quickly. All those panties did was lead to many puddles of urine on my floor (and sometimes furniture), and the sinking feeling that she would never voluntarily use the toilet on her own.

As I dug down to the bottom of the drawer, I found the long forgotten Curious George panties. Eureka! This was something I could use to get her on board. There was also the potential use of her newly attained age...what 3 year old can resist praise just for being three? Anyway, as I pulled the panties out of the drawer, her eyes lit up like Christmas morning. Who would have thought that a cute little monkey would be such an incentive to use the bathroom? She squealed, "My Curious George panties!!!" and began ripping off her Pull-up.

I know this is going to be hard to believe if you are not a parent, but these panties are magical. The transformation in her behavior was immediate. She told me that she did not want to get George wet, and I found myself in the bathroom all day with her. I think that she ran to the bathroom every time she had the urge which meant that we would go through the whole ordeal for about 2 teaspoons of urine, but this was not the time for teaching the finer points of bathroom use. I was just overjoyed that she was staying dry. Excuse me, keeping George dry.

I was so proud of her at the end of the day, and I had a really hard time convincing her to wear a Pull-up to bed. She wanted to wear the panties, but I was firm about this one. We folded them carefully and put them on the bedside table to reassure her that they would be there tomorrow. I actually intended to sneak in and take them so I could wash them, but I forgot about them until later.

Grace had developed a fever and so I got up throughout the night to check her temperature and give her medicine as needed. When I went in for the first check, I almost laughed out loud when I saw her snuggled up with the George panties. She had thrown Puppy to the side and embraced the panties instead. I didn't dare move them for fear of upsetting her if she woke up and found them gone. During the next check, I woke her up a little when I took her temperature. She rolled over, and in a sleepy little voice said, "I want to wear my George panties." I reassured her that she could wear them first thing in the morning, and she quickly fell back asleep.

When she woke up this morning, the panties went on immediately and she has not had one accident. She even went by herself while I was in the shower. The real test will be whether or not she will get George dirty or not.

Happy 40th Anniversary Mama and Daddy! Thank you for getting married so that I exist.....

No More Curious George!

I would give cash money to the person who could promise me that I would never have to watch another episode of Curious George. Now don't get me wrong....Curious George is great, and the show on PBS is educational and fun. I just wish Nathan and Grace would find another television show that they want to watch.

Trevor and I recently realized how much TV the kids were actually watching, and so we decided that they needed to spend more time outside. When he is home, we spend a good many of our evenings outside on the deck watching them play on the swing set or running around playing tag. But the combination of Nathan being sick and the weather being hot, has forced us indoors for the last several days and I am pretty much sick of Curious George.

When I have the audacity to suggest something else for our viewing pleasure, I am shut down with identical, dual looks of incredulity and cries of "No! Curious George!" So I sigh and sit back down for the 329th viewing of the episode where George breaks his leg. Then we watch the one where he refuses to take a bath. Then we watch....well, you get the general picture here.

I was overjoyed to see that Nathan's fever had broken today because I am happy that he is not miserable anymore. I am sad to report that I was almost as happy at the thought of no more marathon Curious George viewing and that our night life would be back to normal soon. Not only does the hour or two of outdoor play keep the kids in shape, it also tires them out so they sleep well at night. I am all about the things that tire the kids out. Seriously.

So, Nathan is feeling better and my sanity is returning. I have to say that I was really lucky that Gracie was not sick too, and that although I am congested I did not have fever to deal with. All in all, this episode was not as bad as it could have been. When one of the kids is sick, I am reminded of how fragile life is (it comes with the territory when you are a worrier) and how grateful I am that I have healthy, happy children.

Taking the Wheel

This is the first day that it has really hit me that Trevor is gone. As I was loading the kids up for church this morning I was strangely aware of his absence. It has become such a ritual for us to attend church as a family, and I missed having him in the driver's seat.

When we got home, the kids wanted to use the water sprinkler toy that Grace had received for her birthday. I had them change into their bathing suits as I got lunch ready for them. This was easier than you might think since it only involved unloading the Happy Meal boxes onto plates and squirting some ketchup on the side. As they began eating, I slathered them down with sunscreen and then dashed outside to start mowing a section of grass that they could play in.

Trevor had mowed last Monday so it wasn't too high, but I knew that it couldn't wait until this Friday to be cut again. I was hoping to have the entire section done by the time the kids finished lunch and got out there, but no such luck. They stood there on the edge of the deck patiently waiting for me to finish. As soon as there was enough area to set the sprinkler in, I stopped and got everything hooked up for them.

As they began squealing with glee at the water hitting them in the face, I ran back to the mower as I realized that the water's reach far exceeded my calculations. I powered back up and cut in a ridiculously haphazard pattern in an effort to get all of the grass that was being sprayed. Needless to say the lawn was not being cut in my usual methodical way, and it irritated my OCD just a little, but the kids were having such a good time that I didn't let it bother me for long. It actually turned into a game to see how quickly I could get the grass cut before it became soaked.

It worked out well that as I was finishing the grass, the kids were growing tired of the water. I stripped them down to bare skin on the deck so I could rinse off all of the wet grass sticking to them. They looked so cute running around with no clothes on. It won't be long now before they are too old (and modest) to do things like that. I got them clean and dry and in the house and before long, Grace was out like a light.

The whole weekend had been exhausting for all of us, but especially for Grace. She offered no resistance to the suggestion of a nap and she slept for most of the afternoon. Nathan claimed to be wide awake and not sleepy at all, so we watched a few of the Harry Potter movies together. It was a nice, relaxing afternoon and I was glad to have had nothing planned.

I look forward to the week ahead with more than a little apprehension since I won't have Trevor to take over when I reach my breaking point with the kids. This will be a good opportunity to work (once again) on my patience and breathing technique. I will also be able to review my numbers since I have the feeling that I will be counting to ten (and beyond) more than once.

We Have Tomorrow Off!

The call came at 8 am this morning. Chris found a note on his office door asking if I could teach Sunday School today because Noelle (my co-instructor) wasn't going to be there. So, the call asking me to teach came an hour and a half before Sunday School started, and I was still asleep in my soft, warm bed. Did I mention that I had not even reviewed the lesson yet?

The ironic thing about it was that Chris and Ali were over for dinner last night and we were discussing what a shame it was that I wasn't teaching this particular lesson since it was about a subject that I am very passionate about. The theology of election is something that I struggled with for several years before I was finally able to wrap my brain around it. I was glad to have the opportunity to present this point of view to the class.

So, I grabbed my Bible and the teacher's study guide and spent about 45 min hurriedly studying before I had to get dressed. I made it to church on time, and the lesson went well in large part because most of the class agreed that the bible teaches unconditional election.

After church we came home and had leftover chicken and sausage gumbo and then proceeded to fall into a carbohydrate coma on the couch. The phone roused me just after 2 pm, so I got up and tackled the mountain of laundry that had been accumulating all week. I went between the laundry room and the couch all afternoon until it was time to go to church again at 5 pm. When it's a holiday weekend, you don't have that sense of urgency that usually accompanies Sunday afternoon. With the prospect of a whole other day off, you can afford to move slow and not get much accomplished.

Evening worship was really nice because it was a special service where we sang hymns instead of praise music. Nathan enjoyed singing with us and it was good to hear all the old songs. We were so excited about the singing that we came home and sang at the piano for a little while. I use the term "sang" loosely not because we can't sing, but because my piano playing skills are a bit rusty and I've never been good at hymns anyway. The more I play, the better I get (go figure) so some songs were better than others!

Now it's time to think about going to bed and I am enjoying the anticipation of an extra morning to sleep late, enjoy my coffee out on the deck and just generally be lazy. We've invited Trevor's family over for Memorial Day lunch as well as Chris, Ali, Nate and Calvin. It will be a full house, but lots of fun.

Little Moments

I love to mow the lawn. There is something deeply satisfying about that swath of fresh cut grass behind me and the anticipation of mowing over the tall grass in front of me. I can see my progress...I am accomplishing something in a very concrete way. It also feeds my OCD tendencies, but that's a completely different blog topic.

I wish life were more like cutting the grass sometimes. It's hard to see progress in the day to day mediocrity of it all, and it frequently feels like I take three steps forward and two steps back. My life is a cycle of work, sleep and weekends. I often have the guilt that comes with being a mother....am I doing enough for them? Am I doing too much? What kind of memories will they have when they are 35?

Then there are moments when I can see the progress and realize that my life is not mediocre and that I am blazing straight forward with no backward steps. Today was one of the days filled with those moments. Watching Nathan and Gracie play outside in the bright sunshine in a beautiful yard made me thankful to God for giving us such success in our careers. It made me realize that all of the fussing and lecturing about how to treat one another was not time wasted as I saw Nathan playing gently and kindly with his sister. I had another moment as we went out for dinner with Trevor's parents for Mother's Day and observed both my children behaving politely and quietly in the restaurant.

They are small moments to be sure, but moving nonetheless. They are what keep me motivated when the day to day grind starts to get me down. They are the very essence of my life and I would do well to look for them more frequently than I do. I have been blessed beyond measure in this life and it is my duty (and desire) to be thankful and glorify God for all of it.

Thank you God. Thank you for my husband and my children. Thank you for letting me be a part of a family that loves You and that loves each other. Thank you for my job, my church and for my friends. Thank you for my life.

Customer Service

The lack of efficient, friendly customer service in this day and age never ceases to amaze me. We have become so accustomed to self-service (and bad service) that we treat any kindness given to us by a salesperson as extraordinary instead of as our right. If I am purchasing something from your company, then I expect to be satisfied with my entire experience from start to finish.

We all know that there are things that are beyond the control of even the most service-minded companies. I try to remember this when I get frustrated with slow service, particularly at restaurants. I think most of us try to put ourselves in the shoes of a flustered waiter or waitress who is waiting on food to be prepared and has no control over the situation.

I do take issue with the person behind the counter who feels as though they can't be bothered to do their job. You know the type....apparently they are doing me a favor by just showing up to work in the morning. Nothing irritates me more than standing in line for 10 minutes, finally reaching the checkout and being ignored when I greet the checker. I don't expect a soliloquy, but do expect common courtesies to be exchanged. This happens a great deal at the local grocery store where I live. The sackers are all high school boys who have nothing more on their minds than flirting with the high school girls who are the checkers. I roll up with my basket full of stuff, usually ready to pay and go home as quickly as possible, and all they want to do is flirt.

I really hate this when they try to draw me into it. "Isn't he being mean?" "Do you think I'm being mean?" Of course, neither one of them is being mean, they are just attempting witty banter and failing miserably. I just don't care. What I care about is getting the heck out the store with minimal energy expended on the state of your hormonal exchange. Of course, the whole time they are doing this, my ice cream is slowly melting because they can't talk and work at the same time.

Trevor and I were recently at WalMart and needed assistance with a locked display case. We asked for someone to be paged and then stood there and waited about 10 minutes with no sales associate in site. (Side note: calling the employees "sales associates" does not fool anyone.) I went around the corner in search of an employee and saw a woman with a blue vest who was sweeping. I asked her if she could open the display for us and she looked at me like I was from Jupiter and informed me that she only did housekeeping. I then asked her politely (but firmly) to page someone who could help us. If I told a patient who was throwing up in the middle of the hall that "I only do therapy" I would get fired! Not just that, but I am hard-wired to help. I would instinctively grab a basin and then clean up the mess. Not because I particularly like that part of health care, but because it needed to be done.

Maybe that's why I don't understand the basic rudeness of people in the service industry. It's their job to be helpful, polite and considerate. They don't have to like what they do for a living (although I would suggest a different career choice), but they do need to have basic skills for human interaction. I wonder at how many of them were raised by wolves to not possess even the most basic of social skills. Greet with a smile, do your job quickly and efficiently, tell the customer thank you and come again. That's all that is really required and it's not like it's rocket science. It just common courtesy, which sadly, is becoming a lost art.

The Morning After

I hate the morning after vacation. In spite of my best efforts, the real world had not gone anywhere and the same old routine was waiting for me this morning. Alarm at 6 am, snooze until 6:15, etc, etc. It didn't help that the kids were in rare form with the whining and crying which just drove me to distraction, and made me dread the rest of the day.

I really shouldn't complain since I had Monday off as a "buffer" day so that I could ease back into my life, but since it's my blog I'm going to complain anyway. After getting the kids to where they needed to be yesterday I went back home and stayed on the couch watching TV for several hours. Charly came by to tell me that she is pregnant again, and then I got up and started thinking about the rest of my day.

I went to Wal-Mart for a few items and then to Chili's for lunch. I had a new book to start reading so I had two of my favorite things at the same time: a book and food! After lunch, I went to see Ali's new law office hoping she would be there too. She told me to call Heather, which I did and found out that she is pregnant again! For anyone out there who doesn't know, Heather just gave birth to Carson last October. Yes...that's October of 2006. Poor Heather....what a shock for her and Mike! There must be something in the water...first Charly, now Heather.

After that call, I met up with Kellye for a pedicure and we had a good time visiting. Ali called to find out where we were and met us there for a few minutes to chat. We told Kellye to hold off calling Heather until the news had sunk in a little more....Kellye has a reputation for "lecturing in love" and Heather was a little fearful of what Kellye would say about this turn of events. I think stuff like this offends Kellye's innate sense of order and she has a harder time processing it than the rest of us.

After the relaxing pedicure, I rushed home just in time to get Gracie from FBC and to be at home for Trevor's mom to deliver Nathan to me. For the first time in weeks, I had a hot dinner of steak and gravy, biscuits and green beans on the table when Trevor arrived home from work. We had a pretty relaxing evening together, except for the sporadic bursts of dread every time I would remember that I had to get up and go to work in the morning!

So here I am, halfway through my first day back and already looking forward to the next long weekend in May for Memorial Day. At least the work week will be a full day shorter for me and I can slip back into that vacation mode on Friday, at least for the few hours before the kids get home!

If Only......

As the reports began to emerge Monday from Virginia Tech, the country watched in horror as the death toll mounted. First it was thought there were two shooters, and then it was finally determined that it was in fact one disturbed student behind the whole thing. It is impossible to gauge the number of lives this act of violence has destroyed or how long it will take the family and friends of the victims to come to terms with what has happened.

It's been less than a week since those 32 people lost their lives and I have heard so many people make the comment that the campus police should have locked down the campus after the first 2 shootings that happened in a dorm. Why did it take 2 hours to inform the Virginia Tech students? Why didn't they do something more? To that I can only say that hindsight is 20/20, and retrospectively I'm sure that all parties involved wished that they had done things differently. Of course they do....the same way that people who survive horrible car wrecks think and rethink the events leading up to the accident. "If only I had left the house 2 minutes earlier instead of running back inside for that bottle of water. If only I had not stopped to chat with the neighbor for 5 minutes...then I would have completely avoided the accident." If only....if only. Anyone who has been the victim of a random event has had this maddening thought repeating over and over again. We think that if we can rationalize and logic it to death that it will be easier to come to terms with the event.

Sometimes things just happen. It doesn't matter what you do or don't do. You can't plan for it and you can't see the future, and it's not really fair to try and assign blame although that is our first reaction to the unexplainable. The campus police thought the first shooting was a domestic violence situation. They had sent deputies out to find the boyfriend of one of the victims and thought that they were on the right track. They had no reason to believe and no way of knowing that there was a mentally unstable student on his way to the post office to mail his manifesto en route to the building where he would take 30 more lives and then his own. Why would they have notified the entire campus that a jealous boyfriend lost control and shot his girlfriend and the guy he thought she was seeing behind his back? They felt like they had the situation in hand and all the bases covered.

Why does our society try to assign blame where it doesn't belong? We blame childhoods filled with abuse for the actions of pedophiles and child abusers and give them lenient sentences and probation. We blame cigarette companies for causing lung cancer, and gun manufacturers for children being shot in the streets. People need to stop deflecting attention away from their own actions by blaming others and take some responsibility for the things they have done. Yes, you may have had a crappy, abuse-filled childhood but you had the choice to move on and not perpetuate the atrocities you experienced. No one forced you to smoke 2 packs a day for 28 years, so don't act surprised when you get hit with the cancer stick and are given 6 months to live. Guns don't kill people....people kill people.

It's grown to such ridiculous proportions that we don't have any idea how to respond to a crisis except to point fingers. Stupid amounts of tax dollars are going to be spent trying to assign blame in Virginia over the next few months. I could save them a lot of money if they would just ask me whose fault it is. How about the 23 year old killer who methodically shot and murdered 32 people? When all is said and done, it was his fault that this happened. Should the school have made more of an effort to counsel him and get to the bottom of his frightening writings? Probably. Should the police have locked down the campus after the first shooting? Perhaps. But blaming someone other than Cho for what happened is completely irresponsible. It's ridiculous to say that things would have turned out differently if we had done B instead of A. If only the school had just seen the warning signs and taken him seriously. If only his classmates had tried harder to reach out to him. If only. That sort of rationalization begins to turn the victimizer into a victim and that is no way to honor the memory of the dead.

But It Was Just Friday!

Once again, there were not nearly enough hours in the weekend. It seemed to stretch endlessly in front of me Friday afternoon as I envisioned how my time would be spent for the next two days. But here I sit Sunday evening (writing the blog for Monday....I'm a bit of a cheat sometimes), wondering where all that time went. Saturday was so cold that it was a bit of a wash as far as getting outside and doing anything, and Sunday was the crazy day that it always turns out to be. Sunday school and worship from 9:30-12:00 and then lunch out with friends. We got home at 1:30 and then spent the afternoon studying for our small group bible study (which I'll address in a moment) and doing busy work in the yard.

We realized that it was already 4:35 and that we needed to get dressed to go back to church, so I went inside to get some clothes out for the kids. As I was throwing clothes and instructions at Nathan with equal abandon, the phone rang. It was Ali letting me know that she and Chris would not be at small group; Chris' grandmother was having emergency surgery and Ali was still sick. Could we run by and pick up the DVD for small group? I checked my watch and agreed....we could get dressed, get the DVD and get there by 5:00. I pushed it into high gear, dressing Grace and myself simultaneously and throwing my hair up into a ponytail.

Trevor had the kids in the car and we sped away to church, agreeing to eat dinner after. We dropped Nathan off at the Family Life Center and then went to our classroom. We noticed as we drove into the parking lot that none of our small group members were there yet. Hmmm. Not as strange as you might think...most of our group is not constrained by time and rarely arrive until 30 minutes after the start time. As Trevor and I sat there waiting for everyone to show up, I decided that maybe I should call around and make sure that someone was actually planning to attend. First I called Kenneth and Kellye, who informed me that they were too busy for God (just kidding, Kellye!). They have the same "Not Enough Hours in the Day" syndrome that Trevor and I have, so they were passing for tonight. Kellye also told me that Jason and Alicia would not be coming either, so when I called Mike and Heather I was not surprised to hear that they weren't going to be there. Actually, I almost laughed out loud when I talked to to Mike because it was already 5:20 and when I asked him if they were coming he turned away and asked Heather if they were planning on coming. That was probably a question that should have been asked at 4:00 or so, but it's Mike and Heather so what are you going to do? (Can you tell who is not constrained by time yet?)

So, we loaded the kids back up and ran a few errands which ended with us sitting in the automatic car wash. My phone rang and it was Kellye wanting to know if we had eaten dinner yet. Kenneth had been out checking his lines and had 7 fresh catfish that he was offering to fry up for us. We have had Kenneth's fish before and were not about to turn it down, so plans were made for them to come over and eat. We ran to the store for a few items and then back home to get the side dishes prepared for dinner.

It had been a beautiful day and it ended with a cool, clear evening. The kids played happily on the swing set as we fried the fish and fries out on the deck and set up a table so we could eat outside. The food was wonderful, and as I sat there and watched my family and friends enjoying each other's company I felt a deep sense of contentment and peace come over me. This was not forced conversation and uncomfortable silences that sometimes comes with people you are getting to know. This was the easy banter and joking of friends who have nothing to hide and so much to gain by learning more and more about each other. These are people that I can depend on....people who matter to me. People that I love.

So, although the weekend flew by in a blur and I didn't get as much accomplished as I would have liked, it ended on a perfect note. I can't think of a more beautiful sound than the song of Christian fellowship.