Wednesday, November 28, 2007

He's Missing in the Details

There's only one toothbrush in the bathroom.
The level of clean boxers and t-shirts doesn't diminish daily.
I can't call anytime of the day just to chat.
The other side of the bed is cold when I migrate over in the middle of the night.
The fridge is covered with pictures and messages from the kids.
I had to put the new glider together by myself.
There was no one to enjoy the new glider with me once it was assembled.
There is one less dish to fill and then clean after dinner.
The 12-pack of Dr. Pepper is still full in the fridge.

I miss Trevor. It's been a long time since he has had to go to China (for which I am grateful), but I still miss him. I notice his absence in the little things, and then my thoughts wander down the path of permanent absence. What would I do if this were my life? What would I do without him?

I would live, of course. I would breathe in and out. I would wake up each morning, get up and care for our children. This is what I tell myself when those thoughts creep in. I force myself to do things that could wait until he gets home. I guess it's a way to prove to myself that I could do it if I had to.

But I don't want to.

But I could. When he gets home on the 5th, I'll be ever so excited and I will be grateful for yet another safe trip and return. I will be overjoyed that he is back with us and that I don't have to go on another minute without him. But as God as my witness, (and strength) I could.

1 comment:

Alana said...

Oh, I didn't realize your hubby was away. For how long?

You really do miss them in the details. I remember last year Rich took a trip to England with his students and I had similar thoughts. I also remember how lost I was when I had to come up with a Pilgrim costume for Richie to wear at school. Rich is the creative one.

Praying for a safe and soon return!