Plans

When you join a new community, the first year or so is spent discovering the traditions and activities that are specific to that area. This encompasses a wide variety of events, and it takes time to figure out which things are important (or interesting) enough to attend and which things are not. It's usually most apparent around major holidays when you begin to wonder, "Is there a fall festival/Easter egg hunt/Christmas tree lighting ceremony/(fill in the blank) around here?"

There have been several events that I have heard about just a little too late, but was assured that I would have an opportunity to attend next year. It's all a part of the learning curve in a new town, and by this time next year we will be part of all the festivities.

Our new church has so many opportunities for fellowship and outreach, and I've been blessed to be included in some of them. I've met some of the most amazing men and women who have hearts for Christ and who genuinely lead lives that strive to be pleasing to Him. It's a great encouragement to me as a wife, mother and as someone who is only saved by the grace of God. I am building relationships with like-minded Christians, but at the same time am encouraged to take that energy and love out into our community and share the gospel. It's a good balance of being accountable and relational with other believers without living in a bubble in our church.

Our church purpose statement is to "Follow Christ, Love God, Love Others and Serve the World" and we don't take that lightly. We get out nourishment from frequent contact with fellow believers, and solid Biblical teaching from the pulpit, but we understand that being a Christ-follower is more that just sitting in church on Sunday and Wednesday. It's a life filled with service to others, especially those who have not come to know Christ in a personal way. It's a life marked by making ourselves small so that God's glory can be seen more clearly. It's a life made of daily sacrifices so that we might bring glory and honor to Him. It's a life that truly believes that the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

I want to live that life more fully, and I can't think of a better place to grow and be fed than at Bethel Baptist Church. I thank God daily that He led Trevor and me to this place of worship before we even moved to the area, because He already knew the plans He had for us. Plans to prosper us and not harm us. Plans to give us a hope and a future. Plans that are revealed daily to cause us to praise Him for His providence and grace towards us.

In spite of our inner turmoil about jobs, money and selling our house He is always steadfast and true. He is the rock that we cling to when the world seems to be spinning out of control.

He is always faithful.

AWANA Grand Prix 2009

We had such a wonderful time last night at our church's annual AWANA Grand Prix! We had never made pine wood cars before, and there were some really awesome designs at the event. After seeing all of the cars, Trevor had some really good ideas for how we can help the kids make their cars better next year.

When we first heard about the Grand Prix, we were sort of lukewarm about the whole thing. Then the kids started making and painting the cars, and I got a little more excited. When we arrived last night in the gym, I was not expecting the incredible turnout and energy in that place! It was so awesome to see the church turn out to support the kids and to just have a great time together.

Neither Nathan or Grace won any of the heats they were in, but still had a good time watching the races and gorging themselves on hot dogs, popcorn and lemonade. On the way home, we were already plotting car design and paint schemes for next year. This was just one more reason that I love our new church!

Would You Like Some Cheese With That Whine?

Has it really been an entire week since I posted? Wow. Time just flies when you're stressed out and have a million things on your plate. Wait....that's not right. Isn't it something about having fun?

As I sit here typing, there is a turkey roasting in the oven and 10 pounds of potatoes waiting to be peeled, cooked and mashed for the church-wide Thanksgiving dinner tonight. I've just had one of those weeks where I couldn't seem to catch my breath. We had revival Sunday through Wednesday night, and that was a challenge in itself with bedtimes and homework, and Nathan seemed to have about 32 Thanksgiving/ Pilgrim/Indian themed projects all due last week or tomorrow.

We are trying to get the house in shape for Christmas house guests (which takes up every spare minute on Saturday) and then we had a birthday party last night. Don't get me started on the way my children behaved there! Suffice it to say that we left early.

Then there was Sunday School to teach this morning, and children's church to prepare and lead. After that, we went out to lunch with the dear friends that we ditched last night because of the kids. But not before I ran home, took the turkey out of the brining solution, stuffed the cavity with onions and apples and threw the bird in the oven. I met them at the restaurant and had a lovely mid-day meal of nachos.

Whew! Are you tired of hearing the whining, because frankly, I'm tired of being the whiner. It's a new week starting tomorrow, and guess what? In spite of the craziness, it all got done last week! I also have Thursday to look forward to not going to work and having a great day with Trevor's family.

So today I'm thankful that the whining is over and that I have a whole new week to find things to (whine) be thankful about!

Forgiveness

The sermon tonight at evening worship was on forgiveness. Here is some food for thought:

Recall the scene at the cross. What is arguably the best remembered thing Christ said from the cross? "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Even Christ had to forgive those who persecuted and tortured Him before God the Father could accept His sacrifice.

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24

Is there someone you need to forgive today? Is there a situation that you feel is so far gone that it is beyond the scope of your ability to forgive? That may be true, but it is never beyond God's ability. If we truly have a broken and contrite heart, God will soften our hearts to allow us to be filled with a spirit of forgiveness and love.

Our sin separates us from God. When we are unwilling to let go of bitterness and past hurts, we are sinning.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15

Let go of the past. Be thankful for the present. Look forward to the future.

A Good Day

It's been a good day. No particular reason, it's just been a good day. Just like Tuesday was a not so good day for no particular reason. Work has gone smoothly and I've been indulging in a little daydreaming about the upcoming weekend.

My mom and dad are coming to town tomorrow morning and plan to get the kids from Heather's so they can spend some time together. They have a wedding to attend on Saturday evening, and then they are returning to Louisiana Sunday with the kids! Now you see why I have been doing a little daydreaming. They will be keeping bringing them back to us Thursday afternoon, so we have a lot of scheming and planning to do.

I realized (with a little thrill in my chest) that we can go to church Sunday evening for our small group and not have Nathan and Grace in tow. We can stay after and visit for as long as we want to without worrying about getting Gracie out of the nursery, or constantly keeping Nathan in check as we try to have an adult conversation. When you have kids, it's the little things that make such a difference!

We are actually planning to take Wednesday off together so we can go see a movie and maybe spend some well-deserved time at Barnes and Noble. It will be nice to have some one-on-one alone time. We were able to get away together when we went to Florida, but most of our time was spent with family. This time, we can just hole up together and do whatever we want.

Oh, the joy! the bliss!

Of course, I will be missing Nathan's questions and Gracie's little face by the time I go to bed Sunday evening, but not enough to have them brought home early. I intend to enjoy every moment of peace and quiet as long as it lasts.

The Cone of Silence is Lifted

I have recently been accused by the spousal unit of spending too much time online in the evenings. Actually, he thinks I spend too much time on the internet period. So, in the interest of Godly submission and less time on the computer I have not blogged all weekend, including Friday. It was surprisingly liberating, because I have become rather obsessive about blogging every day, and sometimes I really have to stretch to find something to talk about.

The weekend was remarkably uneventful and I spent most of it relaxing or sleeping. We were supposed to attend the VBS parent's night on Friday, but Nathan didn't seem particularly excited about going so we bailed. We ordered Mexican food and after eating and relaxing for a few hours, I mustered up enough energy to cut the grass before the thunderstorms promised by the weatherman materialized.

Nathan spent the night with Kaben and Saturday morning I went to get the boys to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I thought it was awesome, but Nathan and Kaben were picking their noses and wishing that they had thought to bring their Gameboys about half-way through the movie. Nathan really likes the first few Harry Potter movies, but I think that the new ones are just too far beyond his scope of experience. The older the character gets (he's 15 in the new movie) the less that Nathan can relate to him. Harry and his friends deal with more adult issues as they get older and the movie is less action and more dialogue, which bores my 6 year old to tears.

Case in point: Harry kisses a girl on the lips. Now, this was a rather chaste kiss...no craziness, no groping...but Nathan and Kaben (in unison) said, "Ewwwwwww" when it happened. I almost laughed out loud at the stereo gross-out, but was secretly happy that the boys are still little boys and not truly interested in the opposite sex in spite of random comments by Nathan about "hot" girls and the like. When I hear him say things like that (after I close my gaping jaw), I just use it as an opportunity to teach him how to regard girls not as objects, but as smart people with diverse personalities and talents.

Our neighbors had a birthday party that lasted for approximately 12 hours. They must have a lot of friends, because there were cars parked all up and down our street. Now we don't mind large parties and loud music when it is conducted at a reasonable time of the day. But (and this is true to form from what we've seen) their parties last beyond what most people would consider to be a normal length of time. Their guests start arriving at noon or one, and they are still going strong at 11 pm with no signs of stopping. When we walk out on our deck, all we can smell is alcohol and cigarettes and it goes on for hours.

When I woke up Sunday morning, the first thing I did was peek over the fence to see the aftermath and I was not disappointed. Trash and beer cans littered their yard and all I could think was that the mess would not be cleaned up for at least a week. Then again, it's not my yard or my family, so it's really none of my business.

After teaching Sunday School, it was my week to lead children's church during morning worship. Every time that I work with children, it reinforces my belief that I was not cut out for children's ministry. I love my own children and the children of my friends and family, but I am completely and totally uncomfortable with any other children. They make me nervous and I always feel on the verge of losing control when they are in large groups. I've always been this way, and I'd hoped that being a mother would have changed some of that for me, but clearly it has not. I volunteer to help with the kids at church because my own children participate in the program and I feel that parents should be involved, but that is the only reason.

We all have spiritual gifts, and working with kids is most definitely not mine. My prayer is that I can just get through the time that I have committed to work with a cheerful spirit and a gracious attitude.

When I got home from church, I ate lunch and then went directly to bed for a nap. I slept for about 2 hours and woke up in a much better frame of mind, and feeling 100% refreshed. We finished the day with fajitas and homemade tortillas, and now I am looking forward to a new week. Praise God for restful weekends and productive work weeks.

The Antidote to My Stress

I would like to take a minute and give a shout- out to my awesome husband today. Our church is in the midst of the craziness we like to call Vacation Bible School. I am helping with the refreshments this year (I did not want a repeat of last year's near heat stroke from being a "walker"), which means that I get to work in the comfortable, air conditioned kitchen and den. All in all a really cushy job and I am working with some truly wonderful women that I am getting to know better.

However, in order to participate in said VBS, I have to go directly to church after work with no time for dinner or winding down before hitting the floor running to get snacks ready for the kids. Our census is climbing back up at work and as a result, I am not leaving until right at five (or six, like last night) which really rushes me for getting to church on time.

Anyway, for the last two evenings when I have walked through the front door, Trevor has been so attentive and wonderful. It's like he knew that I would need extra love and attention this week and has really stepped up to the plate. He made sure my Vanilla Coke Zero was frosty cold on Monday night, and took care of getting the kids fed and into bed. Last night he brought me a cold drink (not realizing that I already had one), but he still gets huge points for the thought. It's not as though he has cooked 7 course meals every night and lavished me with gifts, but it's the little gestures that mean so much.

When he does things that make me more comfortable, it makes me feel more secure and loved and I want to do things for him in return. Isn't that what our marriages are all about, really? When you give cheerfully and with a loving heart, it always comes back to you tenfold. He doesn't do things for me to keep me quiet (I don't think) or to trick me in some way. He does things for me because he loves and cherishes me. I, in turn, am more motivated to submit to him willingly and gladly because I know he genuinely has my best interests at heart. It's beautiful the way God intended our marriages to be, the giving and taking is so circular and it just feeds on itself.

Thank you God. Thank you for a loving, devoted, faithful husband that I can count on day in and day out. Help me to love him better and to meet his needs the way he meets mine.

And baby....you rock my face off!

God is in Control

The lesson for Sunday School was a really good one this week. I should probably clarify that by saying that God's Word is always good, but sometimes it speaks to my heart more directly than others. We are studying the book of Ephesians, and this lesson focused on 3:14-21 which is one of Paul's prayers for the believers at Ephesus. It is an incredible model of how we are supposed to approach the Lord in prayer and for the things we should ask for when we pray.

As I taught the lesson to my group of ladies this morning, I really felt like the Spirit was speaking through me as an encouragement to them. I saw heads nodding (I don't think it was from sleepiness!) as I spoke and I really felt like I presented this scripture in a way that they had not thought of before. Knowing that God was using me was such an encouragement to me and made me mentally redouble my efforts to be the best Sunday School leader that I can be. I encouraged each person to use their spiritual gifts for the edification of the church and prayed that God would open up opportunities for me to be used as well.

At the end of morning worship, our friends Kenneth and Kellye walked down the aisle with their son Kaben. He made a profession of faith this morning and my heart was so full of joy for him and for our friends. As I watched him lean his head against the pastor's chest and say that prayer, I was struck once again at the power and might of our God. Without disclosing any unnecessary details, the circumstances surrounding Kaben's conception and birth were not ideal to say the least. But looking back at that and seeing how differently Kaben's life could have turned out, I was moved to tears at the way God uses every single circumstance in our lives to change and shape us into what He wants.

There was no way for Kellye to know 7 years ago when she took inventory of her life and then fell on her knees before God and allowed Him to turn her life completely around that it would have a lasting effect on my walk with God. But that is how God works. We are not meant to see the big picture, we just need to be willing to paint our little part of it. Seeing Kaben give his heart and life over to Jesus Christ strengthened my own conviction that God sends heartache and pain as well as joy and happiness to us, and it is all a part of the bigger plan. Praise God that He is in control of all things!

God’s grace is sufficient for me, for me
God’s grace is sufficient for me
When it seems all hope is gone,
He is high upon His throne
Working out the plan He started in me
Even when the way is dark, and I can’t see very far
He the Bright and Shining Light will be
I will worship and proclaim and give glory to His name
For His grace is sufficient for me.
---Greater Vision

Praise and Worship

I miss singing hymns in Sunday morning worship. I miss the sound of four part harmony singing praise to God and the simple sound of a piano and organ guiding us along. It saddens me to think that in just a few generations, all of those old hymns have been lost. We sing along to the band now, complete with bass, electric and acoustic guitar as well as drums and keyboard. The music from the instruments all but drowns out the singing of the congregation and instead of feeling as though I am participating in corporate worship, I spend my time straining to hear my own voice so I can stay on pitch.

I know that this has become a rallying point for many people in churches around the country. I don't think that this is a reason to leave or split a congregation of believers. Sadly, music in worship has become a hot topic for debate and has been the source of many a split church. Don't we have more important things to tend to as the body of Christ? Is the type of music we hear and sing in church really that important? To that I have to answer yes and no.

Yes, it's important in the sense that we need to get the most out of our worship experience as possible. If the music is distracting to your praise and worship time, then what's the point? I've heard people say that it doesn't matter what kind of music is playing, what matters is that you are praising God. I wholeheartedly disagree with that philosophy. It matters a great deal if you can't open yourself up to true worship because of what's going on around you. Believe me, I have tried very hard to learn the lyrics to all the praise songs, and I sing them when I am in church. I don't stand there just refusing to sing because I don't really like the music, because that is just pure rebellion and we should be trying to fix our thoughts on God.

However, I just don't enjoy the music the way I want to and that makes me feel like I am not worshipping to the fullest on Sunday morning. The music does not prepare me for the sermon, it's just something that I have to get through and I hate feeling like that. I hate feeling like a complainer or that I am not willing to change, but it goes deeper than that. Those hymns that we used to sing contained important doctrine about our faith. It's a proven fact that we are able to retain information better if we put it to music. I can't tell you how many bible verses I know because I learned them in a song as a child.

"Victory in Jesus", "The Old Rugged Cross", "I Need Thee Every Hour"....the words to these hymns teach us something very important about ourselves and about the God we serve. I often laugh (on the inside, of course) during the praise and worship time in church, because I occasionally hear a phrase from a hymn in a praise song. I laugh because probably 80% of the congregation has no clue that they are singing part of a hymn. I think hymns have a bad reputation among the "new congregations" who either began going to church after hymns had been sort of phased out, or have never attended a church that sang them. They think that hymns are boring and preachy, but they sing phrases from them at the top of their lungs every Sunday without even realizing it.

One of the great joys of being a member of my family is that there is a overwhelming love for music and a talent for it as well. I can't think of anyone in my family (immediate and extended) who can't sing or play an instrument. Almost every time we get together, we gather around the piano and sing in four part harmony to all the old hymns. We pull out the Broadman hymnal and the Inspiration and sing "Mansion Over the Hilltop", "The Way That He Loves" and "Just a Little Talk With Jesus" until we are hoarse. It's a beautiful time of praise and worship and the lyrics help us to remember Who we serve. Those old hymns echo through my mind when I am in a dark and lonely place, and remind me that I am not alone.

On the other hand, I have to answer that no, music is not that important in the sense that our greater purpose is spreading the gospel as far and wide as we can. If the music draws people in and keeps them engaged and ready to worship, then we should carry on smartly and continue our ministry. Much of the praise music does reflect sound theology and doctrine, albeit a little "fluffy" sometimes. I would never leave my church because of the music program. If I was getting fed in other areas (Sunday School, small groups, preaching) then that one area that I was not entirely comfortable with would not be enough to send me packing. We could spend our entire lives trying to find a church home that aligns perfectly with what we want. What really matters is what God wants for us, and we have to keep that in mind.

So, having said all of this, the bottom line is that I miss the old hymns but not enough to leave the body of believers that I have come to know and love. I would suggest a more blended music service, but that is neither here nor there. I am content with the knowledge that my children will grow up knowing all of the old favorites and maybe they can teach me some of the new.

We Have Tomorrow Off!

The call came at 8 am this morning. Chris found a note on his office door asking if I could teach Sunday School today because Noelle (my co-instructor) wasn't going to be there. So, the call asking me to teach came an hour and a half before Sunday School started, and I was still asleep in my soft, warm bed. Did I mention that I had not even reviewed the lesson yet?

The ironic thing about it was that Chris and Ali were over for dinner last night and we were discussing what a shame it was that I wasn't teaching this particular lesson since it was about a subject that I am very passionate about. The theology of election is something that I struggled with for several years before I was finally able to wrap my brain around it. I was glad to have the opportunity to present this point of view to the class.

So, I grabbed my Bible and the teacher's study guide and spent about 45 min hurriedly studying before I had to get dressed. I made it to church on time, and the lesson went well in large part because most of the class agreed that the bible teaches unconditional election.

After church we came home and had leftover chicken and sausage gumbo and then proceeded to fall into a carbohydrate coma on the couch. The phone roused me just after 2 pm, so I got up and tackled the mountain of laundry that had been accumulating all week. I went between the laundry room and the couch all afternoon until it was time to go to church again at 5 pm. When it's a holiday weekend, you don't have that sense of urgency that usually accompanies Sunday afternoon. With the prospect of a whole other day off, you can afford to move slow and not get much accomplished.

Evening worship was really nice because it was a special service where we sang hymns instead of praise music. Nathan enjoyed singing with us and it was good to hear all the old songs. We were so excited about the singing that we came home and sang at the piano for a little while. I use the term "sang" loosely not because we can't sing, but because my piano playing skills are a bit rusty and I've never been good at hymns anyway. The more I play, the better I get (go figure) so some songs were better than others!

Now it's time to think about going to bed and I am enjoying the anticipation of an extra morning to sleep late, enjoy my coffee out on the deck and just generally be lazy. We've invited Trevor's family over for Memorial Day lunch as well as Chris, Ali, Nate and Calvin. It will be a full house, but lots of fun.

But It Was Just Friday!

Once again, there were not nearly enough hours in the weekend. It seemed to stretch endlessly in front of me Friday afternoon as I envisioned how my time would be spent for the next two days. But here I sit Sunday evening (writing the blog for Monday....I'm a bit of a cheat sometimes), wondering where all that time went. Saturday was so cold that it was a bit of a wash as far as getting outside and doing anything, and Sunday was the crazy day that it always turns out to be. Sunday school and worship from 9:30-12:00 and then lunch out with friends. We got home at 1:30 and then spent the afternoon studying for our small group bible study (which I'll address in a moment) and doing busy work in the yard.

We realized that it was already 4:35 and that we needed to get dressed to go back to church, so I went inside to get some clothes out for the kids. As I was throwing clothes and instructions at Nathan with equal abandon, the phone rang. It was Ali letting me know that she and Chris would not be at small group; Chris' grandmother was having emergency surgery and Ali was still sick. Could we run by and pick up the DVD for small group? I checked my watch and agreed....we could get dressed, get the DVD and get there by 5:00. I pushed it into high gear, dressing Grace and myself simultaneously and throwing my hair up into a ponytail.

Trevor had the kids in the car and we sped away to church, agreeing to eat dinner after. We dropped Nathan off at the Family Life Center and then went to our classroom. We noticed as we drove into the parking lot that none of our small group members were there yet. Hmmm. Not as strange as you might think...most of our group is not constrained by time and rarely arrive until 30 minutes after the start time. As Trevor and I sat there waiting for everyone to show up, I decided that maybe I should call around and make sure that someone was actually planning to attend. First I called Kenneth and Kellye, who informed me that they were too busy for God (just kidding, Kellye!). They have the same "Not Enough Hours in the Day" syndrome that Trevor and I have, so they were passing for tonight. Kellye also told me that Jason and Alicia would not be coming either, so when I called Mike and Heather I was not surprised to hear that they weren't going to be there. Actually, I almost laughed out loud when I talked to to Mike because it was already 5:20 and when I asked him if they were coming he turned away and asked Heather if they were planning on coming. That was probably a question that should have been asked at 4:00 or so, but it's Mike and Heather so what are you going to do? (Can you tell who is not constrained by time yet?)

So, we loaded the kids back up and ran a few errands which ended with us sitting in the automatic car wash. My phone rang and it was Kellye wanting to know if we had eaten dinner yet. Kenneth had been out checking his lines and had 7 fresh catfish that he was offering to fry up for us. We have had Kenneth's fish before and were not about to turn it down, so plans were made for them to come over and eat. We ran to the store for a few items and then back home to get the side dishes prepared for dinner.

It had been a beautiful day and it ended with a cool, clear evening. The kids played happily on the swing set as we fried the fish and fries out on the deck and set up a table so we could eat outside. The food was wonderful, and as I sat there and watched my family and friends enjoying each other's company I felt a deep sense of contentment and peace come over me. This was not forced conversation and uncomfortable silences that sometimes comes with people you are getting to know. This was the easy banter and joking of friends who have nothing to hide and so much to gain by learning more and more about each other. These are people that I can depend on....people who matter to me. People that I love.

So, although the weekend flew by in a blur and I didn't get as much accomplished as I would have liked, it ended on a perfect note. I can't think of a more beautiful sound than the song of Christian fellowship.

Respect

Since this is my own personal corner of cyberspace, I can rant and rave about any topic of my choosing. I have dedicated entire blogs to the personal driving skills (or lack thereof) of my fellow commuters and to the concept of choosing the number of children you want instead of trying indefinitely for a particular gender. I have made my opinions known in subtle and "in your face" ways alike. Today I am choosing to complain and rant about the way people dress for church.....specifically Easter Sunday.

For as long as I can remember, I have dressed up for church. As a child, that meant a slip, ruffly panties, starched dress, frilly lace socks and seasonally appropriate shoes. Let's all say it together for any Yankees out there (or Southerners who ought to know better but don't)....no white shoes after Labor Day or before Easter. As a teenager and adult, it meant panty hose, heels or dressy flats, a slip and a nice dress.

Now I realize that times have changed. Panty hose are not particularly popular and I have actually embraced that particular fashion change rather readily, unless I am wearing close-toed shoes. Women do not feel compelled to wear dresses but wear pants and men (and some women) wear jeans and tennis shoes to Sunday morning worship. I have become accustomed to this type of dress when I attend church.

Having said that, I draw the line when I see teenagers in tight pants, halter tops, t-shirts with holes and short shorts. I cringe when I see adults in in shorts and flip-flops. Is this really what the modern day Christian finds appropriate for worship these days? I know that many would argue that it doesn't matter what you wear as long as you show up, and I can understand that to a certain degree. Not having the means for dressy clothing or for any clothing beyond work clothes should not be a deterrent for attending church. I am not suggesting that we should all go into debt to be able to purchase expensive, showy clothes for church. All should feel welcome in the house of God no matter how they are dressed, but there is a difference between not being able to dress up and choosing not to because you are too lazy to put a little effort into your appearance on Sunday morning. How many people out there would go to a job interview in shorts and flip-flops or hot pants unless you were applying for a life guard position or cocktail waitress? Not many, because you want to make a good impression...put your best foot forward. You are showing respect for the people that you are going to see.

Why do we treat the weekly opportunity to come together as a body of believers with less respect than we would a job interview? It's not that God expects us to dress a certain way, but I do believe that outward appearance should be a reflection of your inner heart. My inner heart wants to stand before God the Father in a respectful, modest way. He's the "person" I'm going to church to see. Tight pants that say "Bootylicious" across the bottom are not respectful or modest. Shorts and flip-flops scream, "I was too lazy to iron my pants and shirt this morning. I had other things on my mind". I think that it is a sign of respect, not vanity, to wear your best when you are coming to church to worship the Maker of the universe.

Now I realize that I am stomping all over the feet of many of my friends and fellow believers, but I am entitled to my opinion. If you are entitled to come to church like you are ready to go to the beach, I am allowed to vent about it on my blog. And please don't post and quote James 2:1-4 to me. I'm not suggesting that people who wear expensive clothing should be venerated and people who can't should be outcast and made to feel inadequate.

So, now we come to Easter Sunday morning. The Queen Mother of all worship services. The one day out of the entire year that you expect to see most people in new dresses or coats and ties. The day when we can pull out those white shoes and wear them proudly with no fear of being talked about over dinner. When I arrived at church yesterday morning in my new dress with children in tow wearing freshly ironed and starched dresses and sports coats, I was feeling all Eastery. I was struck (for the millionth time) how handsome my husband looks in a suit. Then I went inside. I saw only a handful of people that looked like they had even taken a second look in the mirror before they left the house. No sea of pretty spring dresses; no starched white shirts with ties and jackets. I saw a female member of the choir in an old button down shirt and jeans, the music minister was in a wrinkled button down shirt, and even the pastor didn't bother to wear a tie. IT'S EASTER SUNDAY!!!!!!!!! What are you people thinking????????? Are you from an alternate universe? Is the celebration of the resurrection of our Lord so unimportant that you would take no care with your appearance?

I love this quote by Phil Johnson: "To a certain extent, our attire in church reflects our attitude toward the significance of corporate worship and the holiness of the One whom we worship, and we ought to give some thought to that fact when we decide what to wear. The tendency toward making Hawaiian shirts, Bermuda shorts, sandals, bare midriffs, and gold chains the standard attire for corporate worship is related to the very same mentality that is cheapening and trivializing every other aspect of our worship."

I know that sounds like I'm being shallow and that I should be more focused on the reason we come to church and less on what everyone around me is wearing. Like I said before...it's my blog and I can say whatever I want. I think that the way we are progressively dressing further and further down for worship is an indicator of our respect for God. We are commanded to keep the Sabbath holy....why doesn't that extend to our dress? If you truly believe that it doesn't matter what you wear as long as you show up, then why doesn't that extend to other areas of our lives? Would you attend a wedding in shorts and flip-flops? Would you attend a funeral dressed that way? Why not? Because you have respect for the bride and groom and you have respect for the dead. Do you not have respect for God? Do you really think it doesn't matter how we present ourselves to Him?

I think it matters a great deal (if you're still reading along, this should be clear by now). I think that it would do a lot of people good to start dressing like they care on Sunday morning. Dress like you are going somewhere special, because going to a place of worship is special. It's not to impress the people sitting in the pew next to you or to impress God. It's to show respect for the awesome God that we serve.

Worship and Fellowship

Today is Sunday and it has been good. I woke up this morning to my youngest crawling into bed with Trevor and I. Resplendent in her candy cane pajamas and wet diaper, she snuggled down between us and started our morning with the most beautiful words in her vocabulary...."I love you." Shortly thereafter, I found myself all alone on the deck with a steaming cup of fresh coffee. In my mind's eye the day spread out in front of me like the vast expanse of sky over West Texas. It seemed open and endless at that time of the morning when the only sound I could hear was the cheerful chirping of birds in the woods behind the house.

We made it to church on time and I enjoyed reconnecting with my friends in Sunday School as we brought our concerns and requests to each other for prayer. The lesson was short since we spent so much time taking prayer requests, but fulfilling nonetheless. We were studying Abram and Sarai's decision to have a child through her maidservant Hagar, instead of waiting on the Lord to provide a child. As Ali taught the lesson, it was brought to the forefront of my mind that we have amazing power over our husbands. Even a man who is a strong spiritual leader and chooses a godly path more often than not can be easily led astray by a suggestion put out there by his wife. It might be a small thing, or it might not. It might be unintentional, or it might not. I realized that to put all the responsibility of spiritual leadership on my husband's shoulders was not really fair. If I am aware that he is sinning or if I encourage that sinful behavior then I am culpable as well. I am commanded biblically to be a helpmate to my spouse and that includes helping him be a strong leader in every way that I can. If I am enabling his sin or even causing it, I am not in line with what God has in store for me or my marriage.

So, I need to guard my tongue a little more often and be sure that my words and actions don't cause my husband to stumble. He has enough weight on his shoulders without adding to the load.

Then there was the morning worship service. The sermon was about the commandment to not commit adultery, but it turned into a sermon on the freedom and joy of sex within a marriage. We read passages from Song of Solomon and from the New Testament. I thought that it tied in neatly with the SS lesson because if we take our marriages to be the covenant relationship that God intended and we truly love and honor our spouse in all areas, then we enjoy true intimacy and closeness that marriage can bring. My favorite verse from Song of Solomon is 6:3 "I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine." Completely. Giving myself heart and soul to Trevor does not imprison me, it frees me to love fully. Part of that love is always being available to him to satisfy his needs. Now there was a lot of snickering and joking between friends after the service was over, but the basic truth should really hit home for all of us. If I satisfy his needs on all levels...physical and emotional.....it frees him to be the spiritual leader and provider for our family. Likewise, if he attends to all of my needs it makes it easier for me to be submissive to him and to help and support him.

There are some of you out there reading this blog thinking that I am caught in a time warp and obviously have not heard of woman's lib. My faith gives me guidelines and boundaries for what makes a healthy and happy marriage. Being submissive to Trevor does not make me a slave to him. Being submissive to my husband is a no brainer because I can trust that even if I don't agree with a decision he has made for us, I know that he only has our best interest at heart. This does not mean that I am not allowed to question him or voice concerns about an issue (just ask him about that one!). And often a different point of view will change his outlook on a situation, and that is where the lessons tie together for me. I only have to suggest something to him, gently point him in another direction and that will be all it takes to change his mind sometimes. I have a huge responsibility to temper my comments with biblical truth and direction in order to not mislead him be it intentional or not.

Then I had an entire afternoon with my enchanting friend Kellye as we shopped and chatting for a few hours We spend a lot of time during the week "talking" through Messenger, and it's always nice to spend some time face to face. So during our time together, I had a little thrill of anticipation because we were meeting up with our small group for the first time in several weeks for a new study. I had really been missing this fellowship and was looking forward to time together with my friends.

Chris brought our books to start reading (Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper). Although I let everyone know that my own personal hell is being read aloud to, read aloud we did......the whole first chapter! I'm a teacher's pet so I had actually read the first 2 chapters before we met, but it was good to read it again, even if it was out loud. I am really motivated and excited about this new book and I can't wait to discuss it the next time we meet.

So now I am sitting in my comfy chair with the computer in my lap as I finish up my day with a Coke Zero and the prospect of a little reading before bed. Thank you Lord, for ministers and teachers who remind me of my purpose as a Christian wife and mother. I need to do a little more encouraging and a little less nagging and tearing down. Thank you for giving me the tools for a beautiful and fulfilling marriage.....now I just have to use them.

Good Friends

We have friends. Now, this may not sound like much of an announcement to many of you out there, but this is a new state of being for Trevor and I since our marriage. We both have family that we have always been able to ask for help when we needed it, but never anyone else outside of that sphere. This has not always been true. Trevor had a few really good friends when he was in the Navy...Phil was best man at our wedding. And I had friends at my old job, but the only thing that really made us friends was our mutual interest in radiation therapy.

But in the 10 years that we have been married, we've never had another married couple that we could just call up so we could hang out or anyone that we could really call in an emergency. Any social life that we had revolved around our families, and while that can be fun too, we really felt like we had some sort of strange void in our lives.

Enter God. Trevor and I had been very rebellious about attending church since we were married. We went sporadically through the years, but never really got involved and only went when it was convenient and didn't disrupt our sleep or plans. I was convicted about a year ago to start attending church because I had become hyper-aware of how much my kids needed to be there. I started going every Sunday, found a great women's Sunday School class and began to make friends. About 6 months later (as a direct result of a massive prayer effort on the part of my SS class) we joined a small group composed of couples with young children and Trevor was convicted of his need for church as well.

As we got to know the couples in our small group, we grew to love each of them and discovered a wonderful fellowship and network of which we were a part. These people have become such an integral part of our lives and we are so blessed. It just proves that if you leave yourself open to God's will that you will be blessed beyond measure.

Well, today Trevor needed to cut down a largish tree in our backyard to make room for a new cover for our deck. The usual suspects were there to help...his dad and brother, but now there was a new player. Our friend Kenneth (whose wife is my enchanting, wonderful friend Kellye!) came over to help as well. But Kenneth doesn't just help. He gives every ounce of energy that he has to get the job done. He goes above and beyond just helping and does it cheerfully with a willing spirit. They got the tree felled and stacked (for next year's firewood) and then dug post holes for the new cover that will be installed next weekend. In between all of this, Kellye and Kenneth fried up some of the best catfish that I have ever had.

Kellye and I visited inside and had a great time just catching up while the guys worked outside. As I was sitting there with her, I was struck once again with the feeling of wonder that we had found these friends that will always be there for us and always support us. Not just in the fun things, but in the more serious, theological ways. I feel certain that they would both pull us aside in Christian love if they saw us straying from the path that God has in store for us. And I feel equally as certain that we would do it for them as well. That's what having Christian friends is all about. We love and support each other in a way that is filtered through biblical truth and Godly love.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you for sending Kellye and Kenneth into our lives. Thank you for the other friends we have made in our small group and we look forward to those relationships growing and flourishing as we get to know each of them better.