Blind-Sighted

My friend Stephanie sent this to me in an email today, and she gave me permission to post it here.  We attend the same Sunday school class, and our teacher revealed a very important truth last week.  It was something that I had never really thought about, and I thought that Stephanie put it perfectly.

Blind-Sighted

I often say that those who truly grasp the magnitude of what Christ did on the cross, cannot help but impulsively respond with a lifetime of overwhelming awe, gratitude, and praise. I thought I truly grasped the magnitude of what Christ did... until today when the Good Teacher used a good teacher to open my eyes to something that pierced my heart to the very core. I wanted to share it with you ... that you too might grasp the magnitude of what Christ did, if you haven't already, and if this is old news to you, that you might share my joy with fresh eyes and be reminded of the beauty of the work of Christ.

It was like I knew what 2 was, and I knew what 3 was, but I didn't put together that 2+3=5. Before today I knew that before Jesus was taken by the Roman soldiers, He prayed to the Father to "take this cup from Me, nevertheless not what I will, but what You will" I knew that He was burdened about what was getting ready to happen to him to the very point of sweating drops of blood. I also knew that on the cross Jesus bore the wrath of God for every sin of those who trust Him ... past, present and future.

However, I always thought it was the process of being crucified that Jesus was "scared" about in the garden, and asking God to take from him.... which would be completely understandable. Jesus, in his human body felt every ounce of pain that was inflicted upon him. We see beautiful portaits of Jesus hanging on the cross that do the horrific death by crucifixion no justice at all. He was beaten UNRECOGNIZABLE. His face was badly bruised and swollen, his flesh and muscles and tendons were dangling from his body in places. His death was slow, agonizing, and torturous. We have no concept or point of reference to begin to even fathom the truthful reality of the suffering. And to top it all off, those who participated in crucifying Him HATED Him. They enjoyed seeing Him suffer... and all of his friends deserted Him.

You know, we have it so good. We start out separated from God, so if He never sees fit to bring us to faith, it's almost like we don't know what we're missing. Once we have been brought to faith, He promises nothing will ever separate us from His love... JESUS on the other hand, is co-eternal with the Father and the Spirit. There was NEVER a point, NEVER, not even in his humanness that He wasn't enjoying full intimate communion with God... But the wages of sin is death and what is death but separation from God? What I did not grasp until today is that when Jesus bore the wrath of God on behalf of sinners, that He was SEPARATED from God for the first time in all eternity. Somehow I did not realize that God wasn't still with Jesus, helping him "get through it". In the garden, knowing full well ALL of what was getting ready to happen, Jesus understood that being separated from the God for ANY amount of time, even for a split second, was FAR WORSE than all the mockery, horrific suffering, and human desertion he would endure in his last moments. Being deserted by God is the cup that Jesus was asking God to take from Him, what He was burdened by to the point of sweating blood. If you read the accounts in the gospels, you find that through all of the torture, Jesus kept silent. He never cried out in pain, never cursed his murderers. It wasn't until he felt the impact of being separated from God by our sin that He cried out in a loud voice, "MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?"

But it's what had to happen in order to justify loving little old ME, some sinner going on with my daily routine 2000 years later in Oklahoma, USA, North America, World, Universe. How else could I respond but a spend a lifetime in praise and gratitude and bible research, satisfying my curiosity of this Jesus that would do such a thing for someone like me? Guess you could say God blind-sided my blind-sightedness today. I can only pray I'll never be the same for it.

Prophecy Fulfilled

Today is a day of mourning and celebration. We mourn the fact that Christ had to die such a horrific death on the cross. We cringe at the thought of the tortures He endured, and the suffering He gladly bore that day long ago. We analyze the events leading up to the crucifixion, trying to make sense of a sacrifice so complete and amazing that it defies reason. We imagine the women and disciples at the foot of the cross, weeping and mourning the loss of the God man they loved so dearly.

But we have the benefit of hindsight that they did not. We don't have to wait until Easter morning to celebrate because we know the outcome. We know that in the midst of our sorrow and horror at His death that He is alive! As the angels spoke to the them, "Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen!" We don't have to hide in darkened rooms for 3 days, afraid and heartbroken over an unspeakable loss. We can celebrate every day that our Lord has conquered the grave and that His sacrifice made possible our communion with God. He fulfilled the prophecy in Isaiah so that we might be justified.

Who has believed our report?
And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant,
And as a root out of dry ground.
He has no form or comeliness;
And when we see Him,
There is no beauty that we should desire Him.
He is despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.
Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He opened not His mouth;
He was led as a lamb to the slaughter,
And as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
So He opened not His mouth.
He was taken from prison and from judgment,
And who will declare His generation?
For He was cut off from the land of the living;
For the transgressions of My people He was stricken.
And they made His grave with the wicked—
But with the rich at His death,
Because He had done no violence,
Nor was any deceit in His mouth.
Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise Him;
He has put Him to grief.
When You make His soul an offering for sin,
He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days,
And the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in His hand.
He shall see the labor of His soul, and be satisfied.
By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify many,
For He shall bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will divide Him a portion with the great,
And He shall divide the spoil with the strong,
Because He poured out His soul unto death,
And He was numbered with the transgressors,
And He bore the sin of many,
And made intercession for the transgressors.

Isaiah 53

There is a Fountain

This is probably one of my favorite hymns ever. I get teared up almost every time I sing the last verse. "Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die." With Easter fast approaching, I wanted to share some of my favorite hymns that speak to the sacrifice and grace that took place at the cross that day.

There is a fountain filled with blood
drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
lose all their guilty stains.
Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
lose all their guilty stains.

The dying thief rejoiced to see
that fountain in his day;
And there have I, though vile as he,
washed all my sins away.
Washed all my sins away, washed all my sins away;
And there have I, though vile as he,
washed all my sins away.

E’er since, by faith, I saw the stream
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
and shall be till I die.
And shall be till I die, and shall be till I die;
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.

(I often write about singing with my family, and my love of hymns. This is a video taken in June of 2006 when we sang at my parent's church in Louisiana one Sunday morning. It is my parents, my brother and sister, my uncle, Trevor and myself. I feel compelled to apologize for the lime green dress and total rear end shot before you even view it.)

To Die is Gain

"For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." We all understand how (and hopefully strive) to fulfill the first part of this verse. As regenerate Christians, we strive to live our lives in a way that is pleasing to God. We weigh our decisions against the yardstick of scripture and the perfect example set for us by Christ.

But what does the second part of that verse mean? To die is gain. Dying to sin? Certainly that is one meaning. If we are to even try to be Christlike, we must die to our sinful nature and be truly reborn. It's not a matter of fixing our old life, it's a rebirth into a completely new one. One that is marked by our obedience and submission to the Father.

But "to die is gain" means something else as well. Out lives should be completely focused on the eternal implications of death when the end comes. This earth is completely temporal. The only thing that matters in this life is our obedience to God and our desire to glorify Him by being witnesses of His majesty and grace so that we may be used by the Holy Spirit to affect the eternal fate of those around us. Everything else is just dust in the wind. Our stuff, our jobs, even our relationships with those we love, all come in second to the command to love and obey God. We should be anxiously awaiting the time God has appointed for our deaths. We are assured of an inheritance far beyond the imagination and scope of man.

However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him."

I Corinthians 2:9

Even the apostle Paul was torn between being used by God during his time here on earth, and the ultimate joy of dying and being with Christ forever.

For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I cannot tell. For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better.

Philippians 1:21-23

So while we are here, let's make a difference. Comfort the hurting, love the unlovely and bring the truth of the gospel to every person God places in our path. Let's die to the world and remember that our earthly death is simply a stepping stone to the glorious, eternal future of praising God forever. Let's be so filled with the Spirit that we long for death, in the sense that we will finally see our Saviour face to face.

In Christ Alone

We sang this song in church this morning, and it really touched my heart.


In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

God is in Control

The lesson for Sunday School was a really good one this week. I should probably clarify that by saying that God's Word is always good, but sometimes it speaks to my heart more directly than others. We are studying the book of Ephesians, and this lesson focused on 3:14-21 which is one of Paul's prayers for the believers at Ephesus. It is an incredible model of how we are supposed to approach the Lord in prayer and for the things we should ask for when we pray.

As I taught the lesson to my group of ladies this morning, I really felt like the Spirit was speaking through me as an encouragement to them. I saw heads nodding (I don't think it was from sleepiness!) as I spoke and I really felt like I presented this scripture in a way that they had not thought of before. Knowing that God was using me was such an encouragement to me and made me mentally redouble my efforts to be the best Sunday School leader that I can be. I encouraged each person to use their spiritual gifts for the edification of the church and prayed that God would open up opportunities for me to be used as well.

At the end of morning worship, our friends Kenneth and Kellye walked down the aisle with their son Kaben. He made a profession of faith this morning and my heart was so full of joy for him and for our friends. As I watched him lean his head against the pastor's chest and say that prayer, I was struck once again at the power and might of our God. Without disclosing any unnecessary details, the circumstances surrounding Kaben's conception and birth were not ideal to say the least. But looking back at that and seeing how differently Kaben's life could have turned out, I was moved to tears at the way God uses every single circumstance in our lives to change and shape us into what He wants.

There was no way for Kellye to know 7 years ago when she took inventory of her life and then fell on her knees before God and allowed Him to turn her life completely around that it would have a lasting effect on my walk with God. But that is how God works. We are not meant to see the big picture, we just need to be willing to paint our little part of it. Seeing Kaben give his heart and life over to Jesus Christ strengthened my own conviction that God sends heartache and pain as well as joy and happiness to us, and it is all a part of the bigger plan. Praise God that He is in control of all things!

God’s grace is sufficient for me, for me
God’s grace is sufficient for me
When it seems all hope is gone,
He is high upon His throne
Working out the plan He started in me
Even when the way is dark, and I can’t see very far
He the Bright and Shining Light will be
I will worship and proclaim and give glory to His name
For His grace is sufficient for me.
---Greater Vision

Forgotten Lives

I love books. I love reading them, collecting them, browsing for them and looking through stacks of them at secondhand stores. I found myself at such an establishment yesterday afternoon on the way home from work. I was searching for a hymnal or two and maybe some old sheet music or songbooks to expand my music collection for the piano.

This old store has one row of books and to see them you have have to reach overhead and turn on a dim light. There is minimal air conditioning and the air in this aisle smells of dust and slowly decaying paper. The books are loosely organized by topic, but I still feel compelled to search each shelf just in case a treasure was overlooked and filed in the wrong place.

I must have spent an entire hour poring over one section in hopes of finding what I was looking for. What I found was what I always find when I am looking through old books. Lives. The lives of the people who owned the books before they ended up on a dusty shelf in an antique store. Most of the books have inscriptions and dates...who are these people? Why are their books here instead of on the shelf of a child or other close relative? Were they excited to receive the book for Christmas or their birthday? Was the book read over and over again with passages memorized over time with each reading, or was it pushed to the back of a bookcase and never read?

I found receipts and poems tucked away between the pages. Just the sort of thing I would do...using a scrap piece of paper as a bookmark. But in one of the hymnals, I found a poem taped to the back cover and I almost wept when I read it. It was a poem written not for winning hearts, but for breaking them. It was a poem of goodbyes and sorrow. I wondered about the woman who might have received that poem from her lover. Was her heart broken or was she expecting such an act?

There were so many unanswered questions, and my own mortality got up close and personal with me. What will I leave behind? Will there be someone in a secondhand store 75 years from now looking through my books wondering who I was? In spite of our best efforts, we leave so little behind. Not just in terms of the physical, but also the essence of who we were. Once those who knew us are gone, and there is no one left to remember the sound of our laughter or the smell of our skin, that is when we truly die.

Our life here on earth is too fleeting to waste it on things that won't matter in eternity. Just a few deep breaths, and we are finished. So I choose to live my life for Christ while I'm here. No reward or incentive in this life can compare with the glory that waits for me in heaven. My heart is in heaven.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

Evil for Good

It's always amazing to me (although at this point in my life it shouldn't be) how the Holy Spirit works in our lives. When we least expect it we are used in such a way to touch the lives of other people not by our own design but by the moving of the Holy Spirit. I have been leading the bible study at work for the last 2 weeks and as I was preparing the lesson for today, I was at a dead end as far as how to present the material. We were studying the last half of the eleventh chapter of John. It tells the story of how the Pharisees begin to actively plot against Jesus to bring about His death.

As I was reading the scripture and poring over commentaries and reference books, I just couldn't get my mind around the point I wanted to make about the passage. It was right there on the tip of my brain, but I couldn't draw it out long enough to see it clearly. Then last night as I was laying in bed (with no preparation done for today's study) I made the connection between the passage and the fact that God uses evil for good in our lives. As I was drifting off to sleep, I was thinking of the passages of scripture that I wanted to use as reference. There was one in particular that Chris had used in Sunday School recently that really reinforced the concept of God's sovereignty.

That they may know from the rising of the sun to its setting
That there is none besides Me.
I am the LORD, and there is no other;
I form the light and create darkness,
I make peace and create calamity;
I, the LORD, do all these things.’
Isaiah 45:6-7

When I got to work this morning I received the news that a fellow employee was being let go. This was by no fault of her own and not a reflection on her performance, but a byproduct of downsizing and the uncertainty of the future. Ever since Memorial Hermann bought out our hospital, we have had many changes for the better. Overall, it has been a very positive merger and we have been satisfied with the way things are going. But, as with all merges, there are areas of uncertainty and upheaval and the cancer center seems to be one of those areas. Our doctor is uncertain of her tenure here, the patient load is dropping with no referrals in sight and as a result she had to let Becky go.

We are a tight knit group and when something bad happens to one of us, it happens to all of us. We are all in a state of semi-shock about Becky and we hate to see her leave our little group. So, as we gathered for bible study today in the conference room I realized that what I prepared was exactly what everyone needed to hear. We are not immune to bad things just because we accept Christ. Bad things happen to good people, even Christians. It is our response to those things that sets us apart from everyone else. Will I choose to praise God through my circumstance, being sure of His sovereignty and power or will I choose to lean on my own limited understanding and be broken and hollow because of what I cannot comprehend?

I had several people approach me after the study and tell me that what I said was exactly what they needed to hear today. That made me praise God that He was glorified and exalted by my preparation and study. Thank you God. Thank you for using me even when I am unaware that I am being used. Thank you for the work of the Holy Spirit that my heart might continue to be broken and reshaped for your glory.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
II Corinthians 4:16-18

He is Risen!

“Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen!" Luke 24:5b-6

Christ the Lord is risen today,
Sons of men and angels say.
Raise your joys and triumphs high;
Sing, ye heavens, and, earth, reply.

Love's redeeming work is done,
Fought the fight, the battle won.
Lo, our Sun's eclipse is o'er;
Lo, He sets in blood no more.

Vain the stone, the watch, the seal;
Christ has burst the gates of hell.
Death in vain forbids His rise;
Christ has opened Paradise.

Lives again our glorious King;
Where, 0 Death, is now thy sting?
Once He died our souls to save;
Where thy victory, O Grave?

Soar we now where Christ has led,
Following our exalted Head.
Made like Him, like Him we rise;
Ours the cross, the grave, the skies.

Hail the Lord of earth and heaven!
Praise to Thee by both be given!
Thee we greet triumphant now:
Hail, the Resurrection Thou!

Charles Wesley

He's alive! He's alive! I want to shout it from the rooftops so that everyone will know the joy and hope that I have in my heart because of His death and resurrection. He lives in my heart and one day I will see Him face to face. Our God is not dead.....He is alive!

The Sacrifice

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

His dying crimson, like a robe,
Spreads o’er His body on the tree;
Then I am dead to all the globe,
And all the globe is dead to me.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

Isaac Watts

Charles Wes­ley re­port­ed­ly said he would give up all his other hymns to have writ­ten this one. I am moved to give up my pettiness, jealousy and judgemental nature when I read the words to this hymn. The work that Christ did on the cross humbles and breaks me each time I meditate on it. He could have stopped the suffering at any time, but He didn't. He chose to be obedient to the Father to the point of death....a greater example of love will never be shown. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for being the atonement for my sin and covering it with your blood so that I can have direct communion with God and eternal life.

Easter is Coming

I am not prepared for Easter. I have yet to purchase one item for Easter baskets, and I've only bought dresses for my daughter and I. There are still shoes and accessories to be purchased as well as all the goodies for the sugar fest Sunday morning. Thank goodness I have Good Friday off to run some errands. But even as I type that sentence I have a twinge of guilt that I am even considering something as commonplace and mundane as shopping on the anniversary of the crucifixion of Christ. Tomorrow should be a day of rest and reflection, much as we should treat the sabbath each week.

I usually listen to a Christian talk show on the radio during my commute and this week has been full of sermons about Easter, and it has really fixed my mind on Christ and His sacrifice. I want this weekend to be a time of worship and remembrance for me and for my family. I don't want Easter to be something that we treat as just another long weekend and an opportunity to dress up in new clothes and indulge in chocolate bunnies. Those things are precious to me because I've done them my whole life. Easter wouldn't be Easter without new white shoes and a pretty spring dress, right? Of course it would, and traditions in and of themselves are not a bad thing as long as we don't lose sight of the reason we even have those rituals.

So this Easter I commit myself to truly remembering the suffering that Christ went through for me and to focus on the miracle of His resurrection that gives me a hope for the future. I Peter 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you.