I love to mow the lawn. There is something deeply satisfying about that swath of fresh cut grass behind me and the anticipation of mowing over the tall grass in front of me. I can see my progress...I am accomplishing something in a very concrete way. It also feeds my OCD tendencies, but that's a completely different blog topic.
I wish life were more like cutting the grass sometimes. It's hard to see progress in the day to day mediocrity of it all, and it frequently feels like I take three steps forward and two steps back. My life is a cycle of work, sleep and weekends. I often have the guilt that comes with being a mother....am I doing enough for them? Am I doing too much? What kind of memories will they have when they are 35?
Then there are moments when I can see the progress and realize that my life is not mediocre and that I am blazing straight forward with no backward steps. Today was one of the days filled with those moments. Watching Nathan and Gracie play outside in the bright sunshine in a beautiful yard made me thankful to God for giving us such success in our careers. It made me realize that all of the fussing and lecturing about how to treat one another was not time wasted as I saw Nathan playing gently and kindly with his sister. I had another moment as we went out for dinner with Trevor's parents for Mother's Day and observed both my children behaving politely and quietly in the restaurant.
They are small moments to be sure, but moving nonetheless. They are what keep me motivated when the day to day grind starts to get me down. They are the very essence of my life and I would do well to look for them more frequently than I do. I have been blessed beyond measure in this life and it is my duty (and desire) to be thankful and glorify God for all of it.
Thank you God. Thank you for my husband and my children. Thank you for letting me be a part of a family that loves You and that loves each other. Thank you for my job, my church and for my friends. Thank you for my life.