Friday, May 11, 2007

The Grumpy Road to Recovery

Nathan was out of school for FFA day and Trevor stayed home with him, which allowed me to get to work early for once. I left the house at 5:45 am and spent the entire morning moving from project to project at work. It was actually refreshing to have something to do...our patient load is down and it's been a struggle to fill the day which just makes it drag by.

I left work at 12:15 (I just love working a half-day on Friday!) and headed home for a little relaxation. When I got home, Trevor was on the couch with a cold. He has been getting progressively worse for the past few days and it finally caught up with him. The problem is that I'm not entirely over my illness yet, and I get tired very easily. The thought of taking care of him and the kids made me a little nauseous if the truth be told. It must be said that Trevor did not imply in any way that I should take care of him. Actually, the opposite is true with him....he would much rather be left alone when he is sick and I tend to hover too much.

So the internal battle was raging....suck it up and try to make him more comfortable and keep Nathan quiet and out of the way or go to the bedroom and take a nap? I wish I could say that my heart of service won the day, but sadly it did not. I slept for an hour or so until I had to get up to go get Grace from daycare, which just made me more cranky because it interrupted my nap. I know....wah.

So, after a few hours of watching the kids draw on the deck with chalk and then watching television, here I am. Exhausted after doing only a fraction of what I normally do on Friday and irritated and grumpy because I am so tired. Poor Trevor, Nathan and Grace because grumpy=impatient and fussy. Once I am finished blogging I vow to be nicer and more human-like if it kills me.

I am also grumpy because the subject of Mother's Day was broached and I don't like having to decide what to do. Of all of the days of the year, I don't think that I should be required to plan anything. I plan all the birthday parties, the holiday gatherings, and all the things in between. I plan, cook and clean so that the day will be fun and memorable. This has nothing to do with not liking to do those things...I enjoy entertaining, but Mother's Day should be a day of rest and relaxation for me. I don't want to decide what we are going to eat or where we are going to eat it. I wouldn't even mind making food for a potluck at Will and Charly's, but I don't want to decide what to make.

I know that sounds ridiculous, but I guess the at the bottom of it all, what I really want for Mother's Day is no responsibility. For one day I don't want to be the one holding it all together. I don't expect to spend the entire day in a hammock with an cold drink and an unlimited supply of chocolate nearby (as nice as that sounds!), but I want to be the follower instead of the leader for 16 hours. So, I vow to be nicer to my family tonight in spite of my grumpiness and look forward to Sunday.

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