Monday, March 26, 2007

What I Want

It's Monday again and I reluctantly slip back into the morning routine:
  • get up (well, hit snooze 3-4 times and then get up)
  • wake Nathan and get him started with breakfast
  • take a shower before Grace gets up and is unsupervised
  • dress ( wearing scrubs every day makes this a very quick process)
  • wake Grace and get her fed
  • make sure Nathan brushes his teeth and has his backpack at the ready before his Gran comes to pick him up for school
  • clean breakfast from Grace's face and hands
  • dress Grace (it's the brushing of the teeth that I really dread)
  • pack Grace's lunch
  • rush out the door to drop her off at church
  • head to work

I long for the day that I don't have to be at a job outside the house. I want to let the kids sleep past 6 am on weekdays and have the time to cook hot breakfast for them. I want to take Nathan to school myself and not have daycare workers spend more time with Grace then I do. I want to keep my house spotless and have time to work in the yard. I want to have hot cookies and cold milk waiting for Nathan when he gets home from school and sit and hear about his day. I want to have a fully prepared meal on the table every night when Trevor gets home. I guess what I really want is to be a 1950's housewife, but I don't care if people think that's silly. I want to care for my family in a way that only I can, and it's is a gift that I can give them every day.

But what I want doesn't line up with regard to what we need in terms of my income. So, I have to keep up the morning grind until that day comes that I can do things the way I want. There are plans in place to make that happen sometime in the future, but for now I will have to make the best of the situation for what it is. My life is happening right now and spending all of my time longing for something else is a complete waste of the one I'm living.

So, I'll keep finding the little joys where I least expect them and thank God for the life that he has given me. After all, we only get one go around and I don't want to waste it!

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