There you have it. I am a Valentine's Day scrooge. I hope we can still be friends. I don't buy into the whole idea of needing one specific day of the year to be sure and tell my spouse how much I love him. I live in America. I can get chocolate any day of the year, and I am so not a "stuffed teddy bear holding a heart" sort of girl. I don't need the pressure of one more holiday for which I must purchase a gift.
So, at the beginning of our marriage, Trevor and I banned Valentine's Day. We cave in enough to purchase cards (sometimes), but generally speaking it is just another day. We don't go out for dinner or plan a romantic rendezvous. We just carry on smartly with our lives, because we already cherish one another. We verbalize our love for one another often and enjoy being together.
I know that we are in the minority, but I don't care. I think part of the reason I dislike this "holiday" so much, is that I have known (and still know) so many women who set themselves up for disappointment year after year. They come to work (or church, or whatever) the day after complaining that their significant other either forgot Valentine's Day or didn't do what she envisioned that he should do. Even worse are the people who complain about the gifts they received, because they were:
- the wrong color
- the wrong type of flower
- the wrong number of flowers
- a gift but no fancy dinner
- dinner but no fancy gift
- no card
- the card was funny and not romantic
It's a gift, people! Lighten up!
It just seems like people (and by people I mean women), build this day up in their minds and then are not ever really happy with the outcome. Lord help the man who does it right one year, because he will never, ever be able to do Valentine's Day halfway again! I read this on CNN today, and it sums up what I mean:
Thanks to super-sized expectations and over-the-top commercialization, February 14 has gone from a sentimental aside to a pressure-filled gauntlet lined with chocolate boxes, tennis bracelets and cheesy stuffed bears. "The holiday's designed to make you feel (bad)," says Judy McGuire, author of "How Not to Date."
"If you're in a relationship, it's never anything that it's supposed to be. And if you're single, you feel like a big loser because you don't have anybody. I think people should lower Valentine's Day expectations to pretty much nil. That way, anything that happens is good."
Now having said that, I do enjoy putting together candy bags for my kids to take to school and hand out to their friends. I remember making Valentine's boxes with construction paper, lace hearts and glue so that my friends could drop their cards for me through the slit in the top. Valentine's Day was fun as a kid and just as I was coming off the Christmas sugar high, I got another fix. Good times.
So if you love Valentine's Day, more power to you. Enjoy your day of roses and romance, but I will be sitting at home tonight in my comfy flannel pajamas with my husband. As you are staring into the eyes of your lover across a candlelit table, I will be watching mine eat popcorn in the bluish glow of our television. As you tear into your heart-shaped box of chocolates, I will be snacking on 2 day old chocolate chip cookies that I baked Tuesday. I guess we'll both get what we want for Valentine's Day!