First Year

I find it hard to believe that it's already summer time.  With the beginning of a new season comes the anniversary of our move from Houston to Tulsa, which makes it all the harder to believe that an entire year has already flown by.  Was it really a year ago that I was worrying about making new friends, concerned about how the kids would adjust to a new town and wondering if we would find our little niche?

God had a plan for our little family, and He has been faithful to provide all the things we need in our new environment.  We have wonderful friends through church and work, and the kids are surrounded with children on our block who love to come over and play with them.  Both Nathan and Grace had good experiences at school, and made friendships that will carry over into the coming years.  Nathan turned nine, and Grace turned six this year and we got just a little bit more sleep on Saturday mornings!

We still haven't sold the house in Texas, but we continue to trust that God has His hand on that situation and when it's time to sell it will sell to the right buyers.  It's not been easy paying the equivalent of two mortgages, but He has provided for us over and over again.  We still haven't actually seen a tornado, but if there was ever a place on earth with more unpredictable weather than the Gulf Coast, it's Oklahoma!  It's been a wild ride of snow, ice, thunder and hail storms throughout the year, but we've escaped any damage and injury thus far.  The dry climate is a refreshing change, and so are the cooler temperatures for most of the year so we'll take the tumultuous weather over high humidity and never ending heat, thank you very much.

As I sit here in the silence of Saturday morning, sipping my coffee and reflecting on the last year, it's seems too quiet in the house.  Nathan and Grace are both in Louisiana with Mama and Daddy until next Thursday.  They left Tuesday morning, and from all accounts are having a ball with Nannie and Papa.  They finally got to meet their cousin Travis and see Aunt Rose, which led to a really funny exchange between Grace and Amber.  It was time for Travis to nurse, so Amber took him into the study for a little privacy (mostly from Nathan), and began to nurse.  Gracie wanted to see what Aunt Rose was doing in the darkened room, so she went in to investigate.  Apparently, she looked on with some horror and then asked, "What is that in his mouth???"  Amber went on to explain in simple terms that Travis was drinking milk and that's how she fed him.  Mama came in behind and offered an explanation about cows (since she had seen a cow milked last year at school), and then told her that human mommies make milk the same way.  Gracie just took one more look at the scene before her and pronounced the entire process "weird" and walked away.

I was supposed to fly out to Denver last night, but the tornadoes touching down around the Denver airport made the airlines understandably nervous about actually landing there, so my flight was delayed for 4 hours before I finally just rescheduled it for this morning.  I couldn't see dragging Courtney and Jack all the way out to the airport to pick me up at midnight, so I'll fly out at 9:15am today.  Hopefully everything will go smoothly and I'll get there on time this morning.  I'm really excited about seeing Courtney and Jack, but a little sad as well since my purpose in visiting is to help her unpack her new apartment that she now lives in without her husband Chris, and offer some moral support.  They recently separated, and when I heard the news a few weeks ago all I could think of was getting to her.  Unfortunately, this is the soonest I was able to get a flight and arrange time off from work, but I can't wait to see her and hug her neck and to play with Jack.

It feels a little strange to be posting to my blog since it has been sitting idle for so many months, but I've had a serious case of writer's apathy block, and haven't been able to muster up the desire to write at all except for short updates on Facebook.  I'm feeling more like writing, so maybe this will be a new beginning and I'll feel like posting more often.

Livin' On Tulsa Time

Change. That little word can strike such fear in my heart. From the small things to the life altering, I resist change. I worry over it, spend sleepless nights thinking about it and generally work myself into a frenzy of stress holding on to it. So when Trevor came home 4 months ago with the news that we might be moving to Tulsa, my response was not what you would call open minded. As a matter of fact, I had a good sized boulder in the pit of my stomach when I allowed myself to think about it too much.

But over time I came to accept the idea, even embrace it. We began looking at real estate and discussing our finances. We were still waiting for official word from his company before we made any real decisions, but we felt fairly confident that we would be leaving Texas. Then he was told that the move was off due to the economy, and I breathed a little sigh of relief. I had gotten used to the idea, but I was glad that I didn't have to think about the actual move anymore. Finding a new job, childcare, a church...things that seemed so scary when I thought about them too long and too hard. The boulder dissolved and life went on.

I told my boss that I was staying, and informed the Sunday school class that I teach that they would have to put up with me for a least a little bit longer. I started thinking ahead to summertime childcare for Nathan and making plans for having family here in July. I felt a little bit wistful that we would not be moving, but on the whole glad we were staying with what was known and comfortable.

Then two weeks ago Trevor came home with the news that his company wanted him in Tulsa no later than August. We could pretty much move any time between now and then, but it was really happening. The boulder reappeared and suddenly I was back to contemplating when we would make the move, how we would sell the house in the current market and a myriad of other issues. I began to feel overwhelmed with the enormity of moving our family to another state and establishing new roots there.

Then I stopped in my tracks and said a quick prayer. My prayer was simple: "Lord, take this anxiety from my heart and remind me that you are in control and totally sovereign over all things. You are in both the details and the big picture and I can trust that all things will work for our good. It may not seem like it at the time, but I know that the end game has already been predetermined by You in Your wisdom and love. Please make the path broad and easy to see as we make plans for this move and give us wisdom and discernment to make choices that are pleasing to You. Amen."

This is the prayer that say every time I feel that boulder starting to weigh me down, and it's the one I pray every morning and night. There are so many plans to make and dreams to build, but the change seems less menacing when filtered though the knowledge that God is on our side and He will see us through to the end of this season in our lives. This time next year we will be wondering what all the fuss was about.