Sunday, June 20, 2010

Children Change Everything

I have a confession to make:  Trevor and I never intended to have children.  If you would have asked anyone who knows me, they would have agreed that I was completely set against having any children at any time, ever.  This was something that Trevor and I discussed before we were married, and were both relieved to find one another on the same page.  I was never much of a kid person, and children generally just made me nervous.  At best, I tolerated the children of friends and family because it was necessary.

We enjoyed our first few years of marriage doing all the things that young married people do. We left on trips at the drop of a hat.  We went out to movies at 10 o'clock at night.  We stayed up late and slept in.  We ate in restaurants that didn't give us coloring book menus.  We went to work, came home and ate cereal for dinner if we wanted to.

But something began to change in my heart as I spent more and more time with Trevor.  At first I couldn't quite put my finger on it, because I was so happy with our marriage that I couldn't figure out what was causing that little tug of dissatisfaction.  As time went on, I recognized it for what it was.  I was still not sold on the idea of other children, but I wanted to have children with Trevor and so Nathan was born.  All 9 lbs, 13 oz of him.

To say that having a child is a life-changing experience doesn't even begin to scratch the surface, and if you are a parent you are smiling and nodding your head.  Unplanned trips were replaced with frantic errands for more diapers and formula.  Those late night movies?  Only if you mean the glow of the television at 2am during a feeding.  The staying up late didn't change, but the sleeping in became a thing of the past.  We started asking for high chairs in restaurants and scheduling our meals around when Nathan would be hungry.

But the thing that changed my life in the most profound way was watching my husband become a father.  He gained the title of father the day that Nathan was born, but he became a father in small bits over the course of that first year.  It showed me a side of Trevor that was the perfect complement to the loving husband I knew him to be.  There is nothing more attractive to me than the sight of my husband holding my children, and knowing that he loves them just as much as I do.  I had the joy of watching him grow as a human being, learning patience and self-sacrifice.

And just as we thought we had the whole parenting thing down (hah!), along came the little 6 lb, 8 oz pink bundle that was Gracie.  If you ever want to see a man more tender and gentle, present him with a tiny baby girl to hold.  Whereas Nathan had taught Trevor the basics of fatherhood, Gracie rounded him out in ways that only a little girl could.  His protective nature became more fully developed and he always seemed to hold her a little more gently than he had held his firstborn.

As I sit here today and think of all the ways God has blessed me over the years, Trevor comes to my mind first.  Not only because he is a Godly husband to me and makes me feel cherished, loved and protected but because God created him to be the perfect father for our children.  There is no one on this earth who could be a more effective, loving father to my children and I thank God every day for him.  He leads us all in a direction that is pleasing to God, and he is steadfast in his love and commitment to us.  He sacrifices his time, energy and resources so that we might have a better life, and he always does it without complaint.

He is the father of my children.  He is the love of my life.  He is everything to me.

Happy Father's Day, Trevor.


Mocha with Linda said...

Oh my. That may be the most precious tribute I've ever read.

We've had a sort of similar experience. My husband was a bit surprised and totally blown away by the fierce love and protection that arose within him when our kids were born . It's indeed special to watch a Daddy with his kids!

Rizzi said...


luvmy4sons said...

What a precious post and tribute!

Crystal said...

Beautiful post!