Monday, January 18, 2010

The Talk

So Nathan is almost nine years old now, and Trevor and I felt like it was time to sit him down and give him the "talk".  He's had books for several years now showing the male and female reproductive systems in full color detail, and he's known for a long time that he and Grace don't have the same anatomy.  In the past, he's never made the connection that the sperm had to get to the egg, he just knew that it happened and that's how a baby was made.

But he's recently asked the definition of some words that he's heard on the bus, and mentioned a few things in passing that made us feel like it was time to explain things a little further.  I was in third grade when Mama sat me down with the color plates in the Encyclopedia Britannica and revealed the mysteries of reproduction.  Well, she revealed and I promptly forgot most of the details.

Anyway, Trevor sat him down today with his science book and the Bible and explained it all.  Nathan finally made the connection between the egg and the sperm, and with a confused look asked, "But how does this get to this?"  When Trevor told him, his only response was "gross".  Trevor said that he went slowly and gave as much information as he thought Nathan could handle, and no more.  He said that Nathan was clearly not ready to discuss temptation and the pleasure associated with sex, but made sure that Nathan knew he could always talk to him if he had any questions.  They also read a few passages in scripture to reinforce the sanctity of marriage and the importance of waiting for that covenant relationship.

I think that Nathan has plenty to think about (with strict instructions to not discuss any of this with his friends at school), and that Trevor has paved the way to an open and lasting dialogue with our son regarding a subject that is all too often taboo between parents and children.  Our hope is that by allowing him to openly ask questions without embarrassment and establishing our authority in this area, that he will be less apt to give in to temptation when he gets older.

8 comments:

Jill said...

Oh my goodness, this sounds like our life...Steve and I have been praying about it and really seeking wisdom on how and when and what to share. I love the special moment we will share, but I am sad at the loss of innocense that my little "reasoner" will have. It is time....we are just waiting for the perfect moment.
Thanks for the encouragement.

Mocha with Linda said...

Loved reading this. What a blessing it is for Nathan to have such an involved dad.

It always makes me laugh - the reaction of "gross"!! Every kid says that when they learn about it! It's a good thing they think that...may Nathan continue to think that until he is saying "I Do" when he's 38! LOL

(And how funny is this: the word verification for me is "doted.")

Karen said...

You and Trevor handled this beautifully. I well remember "the talk" with each of our kids. "Gross" was a common reaction!

Carrie @ Cottage Cozy said...

That can be a challenging talk...looks like you guys handled it wonderfully! He's growing up!

RIZZI said...

I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS, THAT WAS OVER 30 YEARS AGO.
THEY ALL THOUGHT IT WAS GROSS, BUT MY GIRLS ARE MARRIED, AND HAVE CHILDREN. EVERYTHING WORKED OUT WELL. IT'S NOT EASY. YOU BOTH DID A GOOD JOB EXPLAINING. RIZZI

luvmy4sons said...

Can you forgive me for smiling? Okay- and laughing! Just because it brings back so many memories having done this with all four sons and I think about that and where they are now and all that comes...AFTER this little talk! Hugs sweet sister. You are great parents. Well done! The Lord bless you and keep you!

Heather C said...

I am so not looking forward to "the talk!" I love the care you took with this... and the scriptural reinforcement. We have much to learn from you. :) Love you!

Alana said...

Amen, I completely agree! We had the same conversation with Richie (8 1/2) this year, because he blatantly asked how a baby was made. We took the same approach and decided to open the line of communication on that subject early. We want him to know that he can come to us with any question and get an honest response!!