Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Home

The paint has been applied and put away. The miter saw and the leftover lumber has been neatly stored in the shed again. The closets have been cleaned, organized and gleaned of all superfluous items in anticipation of strangers gazing into their depths. The bookshelf inventories have been reduced by 2/3 so as to not intimidate prospective buyers, and the empty space has been filled with vases and other neutral items. The (temporary) housekeeper has made all surfaces shine.

Our house goes on the market tomorrow, and we are finally ready. With each passing day, I am reminded of how many memories I have of this house. It's been my home since I was four years old. A lifetime of memories tied up in this one place, and I'm already finding it difficult to let go. From sleepovers, parties, graduations and weddings to my first date, kiss and prom, they were all here. I have raised my children here for the last 4 years and have those memories to take with me as well.

I was baking a buttermilk pound cake last Saturday, and suddenly began to cry. How many of these cakes had been made in this very kitchen over the years? Every thing that I do reminds me that it's coming to an end. There will eventually be a last meal, a last evening, a last night to sleep under the roof that has sheltered me for most of my life. Then I will have to walk out the front door where I waited so many times for friends and family to walk through, and not look back. I will begin a new stage of my life that doesn't include this small town or the hundreds of things that I love about it.

Am I excited? Of course. I can't wait to get to Tulsa and carve out a new life there. I have new friends to make and relationships to forge, but I can't help but feel a sense of loss at what I'm leaving behind. I know it's just a building, but it's been mine for so long that I can't imagine anyone else occupying it's space. Each room is dear to me, full of laughter, tears and the day to day living that we all experience. It's home and I am sad to be leaving it behind.

15 comments:

luvmy4sons said...

I can understand your mixed feelings of excitement and nostalgic sorrow. I pray God comfort you at every turn that He is with you and goes with you and is in all that comes your way. Thanks so much for your kind comment on my blog today! Blessings to you!

luvmy4sons said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lisa said...

You have a good outlook. Its sad but then exciting to think of what the future holds.

Mocha with Linda said...

Sniff, sniff. Wish I were there to give you a hug!

Do you suppose the hall in your new house will have a motion detector to flip the light on? :-)

Mel said...

Buttermilk pound cake, really you have a poundcake recipe, yum

i can imagine the flood and mixture of emotions...

Jill said...

Oh, I am sad...you have taken tons of pics, you will not be one of my texas girls now! Oh, I will have an okie...for a friend.

Leah in Iowa said...

Oh my gosh - Linda's comment made me laugh out loud!! =) =) =) Please install one, just because.

You've been hard at work, cleaning and pitching stuff haven't you! I'll be praying that your home sells quickly!

Carrie @ Cottage Cozy said...

Because of the housing market, etc. etc...we had to move from our larger house that we were trying to sell, to a smaller one that we were downsizing to, then back to the larger house while we rented out the smaller one, and once more back to the smaller one within 1 years time! I had a difficult time seeing God's plan in all of this, it was exhausting and overwhelming in so many ways. It felt out of control...but then something wonderful happened...I realized it was out of control, out of MY control, and God was just waiting for me to give it to Him. We are still facing some very challenging times, my husband is a realtor, but I am truly experiencing God's love and peace more than ever. Some days are better than others, but I usually find that the bad days are the ones where I try to take my burdens back. Silly, uh?

I know God has a plan for you that is even bigger than you can imagine. God knows it is hard for us to leave behind memories and make changes, He made us that way. But He will also give you exactly what you need to follow His plan.

I will pray for the sale of your house and the blessings to come in your new home.
Now back to bed for me...

The Small Scribbler said...

What?? I don't pop in for a few days and you're MOVING?? I must have missed something. We'll be adding this transition to our prayer list.

Kate

Karen said...

I didn't realize this was your childhood home, too! I must have missed that. I hope the selling process goes quickly and smoothly for you, and that you're soon on your way to making your new house a home.

Crystal said...

I am continuing to pray for your move! God will go before you and work out all of the details that go along with selling a house! I'm also praying He will comfort your heart as you deal with all of the emotions that go along with this move!

Buffi said...

It is SO hard to leave behind the place where you've made so many memories. I deal with sentimental emotions some what like that...but I love change...and can quickly leave stuff behind. Now Sophie on the other hand....WOW. We traded our van in a couple of weeks ago for a newer vehicle. OMG...you would have thought she was loosing her best friend. She BOO HOOED in the car dealership. We felt TERRIBLE. We eventually had to take her out and take 10k pictures of her and our old van...just to ease her mind. She did not want us to sell it at all! To her...it was HER van that she got when she was a baby. So...she is extremely sentimental. I cannot imagine what it will be like when we leave the house we're in...wow...I'm sure it will be hard for her too! Anyway...sorry for the long story...I know the crying is good for saying goodbye. Once you're gone...you'll be good!!! I know you're making the most out of these last days there!!! I can't wait to see what God has for you next!! :)
Blessings,
Buffi

A Stone Gatherer said...

I so understand you sadness and excitement! Isn't it amazing that both can be wrapped up together!

lori said...

I want a buttermilk pound cake

Rachel said...

You've gotten so much accomplished in such a short time! I hope you have some time for yourself!