I had my annual evaluation at work today. It was good to hear that I am exceeding the standards established for my position, and that my supervisors count me as an asset to the department. There were some areas where I received some constructive criticism, and I gladly welcomed the comments because I want to grow in my profession and strive to be better.
But at one point during the interview, I found myself just nodding my head as though I was listening, but really having a completely different conversation in my head. My director was talking about long-term goals as they relate to my career path. She talked about visualizing what I want for myself in the future and giving myself a time frame for achieving those goals.
As she went on about my growth and the possible necessity of changing physical locations to advance my career, I just sat there and thought, "You know nothing about me." So I nodded politely at all the right places, and threw in a few "I understand" and "Of course" for good measure, but my mind was drawn to what I really want.
It's quite simple. To raise my children and take care of my husband. Working outside the home is a reality for me. I do it well, and I take joy in my profession but it is not my life. I don't care if I never get another raise or promotion if it means that I can spend time with my family. The whole reason I changed job locations 6 years ago was for the shorter commute and ease of taking time off when it was needed.
I have no aspirations to be in management, which is the next step for me. If that job fell in my lap at my current location, I would gladly accept the responsibility and pay raise, but it's not something I seek. I don't plan my life around what I want out of my career. I plan my career around my family, and do my best to be spiritually discerning with respect to what God has planned for me.
So as she was speaking, I just laughed at little on the inside (she is my boss after all) at her supposition that I would change jobs, thus putting me further from my family all for the sake of advancing my career. It's just not for me. That doesn't mean it's not right for others, but I feel like I'm just marking time during the day until I can get home. I do my best to glorify God with my work ethic and dedication to my patients, but I'm always looking ahead to my homecoming each night.