Friday, June 19, 2009

I Am Loved

So they all went away from the little log house. The shutters were over the windows, so the little house could not see them go. It stayed there inside the log fence, behind the two big oak trees that in the summertime had made green roofs for Mary and Laura to play under. And that was the last of the little house.

Laura Ingalls Wilder
Little House on the Prairie

This is one of my favorite lines from all of the Little House books, and it was exactly what I was feeling when we pulled out of the driveway to begin our trip to Oklahoma. It felt as though I was leaving a family member behind, and I could barely see to say goodbye through my tears.

As I did a final walk through of the house, taking pictures of the empty rooms and one more of the familiar fireplace I couldn't help but cry. Tears welled in my eyes as I recalled memories in each room, and said goodbye to each one. Trevor met me in the kitchen and held me as he prayed over me, and said a prayer of thankgiving for the many years we had been able to call it home. The house where Nathan started his first day of Kindergarten and where Gracie learned how to walk.

The tears continued to fall as we said goodbye to his family, but slowly they stopped the further we got down the road. As I drove, I began to look forward to getting to Tulsa and to getting the new house in order. I thought about my new job and all of the friends that we had already made, and I felt better. I thought about all the people who care about me and who have been faithful to offer prayers on my behalf over the last several months, and I felt even better than before. I thought about how richly I have been blessed by God in so many ways that can never be named or put on a list.

I am loved.

My geographical location might change over the years, and I may have to say goodbye over and over again to those I love but one thing will never change: I am loved.

My cup runneth over.


Mary@notbefore7 said...

Truly bittersweet.

Not having gone through many moves in my life, I can't imagine the goodbyes.

But resting in His love and favor...yes indeed!

Mocha with Linda said...

Yes, you are loved.

So glad last Friday is behind you and now you are eagerly anticipating Nathan and Grace's arrival with your mom and you start making new memories now!

So what's for dinner Saturday night when the family is all together? Are you making your yummy biscuits?!

faraja (girl with a 'fro) said...

Hi Xandra, have finally gotten around to getting a twitter account and added you so I can easily keep up with your posts :)

Moving is something we might also be facing early next year. After 6 years in our current city we're now thinking of moving back closer to my folks (different state). That part is great of course, but this is where our 3 younger kids were born, and the oldest was 6 mths when we arrived...there are so many memories and connections tied up here...and beside that I just adore this city visually and the weather...not so much where we might be heading. But yeah, looks like a new season on the cards for us in 2010 :)


Heather C said...

I cried with you as I read this post. Beautiful and touching. And yes... you ARE loved. So much. :)

Karen said...

You have such a way with words. As I read this, the houses I've lived in came sweeping through my memory. I thought of what it was like to leave our first home and it still makes me sad.

God bless you and your new home!

Rhonda said...

What a beautiful post Xandra.

May God reveal to you (rather quickly) the plans he has for you in Tulsa. I pray that you continue to embrace this adventure that He has you on. And that you always say 'yes' to Him.

Beth@Not a Bow in Sight said...

Yes, the love follows you wherever you go :)