Thursday, May 10, 2007

The Relative That Doesn't Play Well With Others

Every one I know has one. No matter what their background, education, region of the country or income, everyone has one. The Relative That Doesn't Play Well With Others or TRTDPWWO.....wait.....that doesn't make it easier to remember. Let's just go with "Mark" for the purposes of this blog. Coincidence that my uncle's name is Mark? I think not.

Mark is that relative. The one that is always late. The one who thinks he is the sun and the rest of the family are planets. The one that puts as little effort as possible into maintaining relationships, but when there is opportunity for attention (funerals...weddings) he is front and center to make a show of how important he (thinks) he is. The one who feels free to inconvenience others without a single thought but can't bear the thought of being inconvenienced himself.

Conversations with Mark are really just an opportunity for him to invite you to his own personal pity party. Nothing is ever his fault and if you dare suggest that it is, be prepared for an undetermined period of icy silence and no invitations to his home. Wait....that doesn't happen anyway. Did I mention that this man is over 40 years old!!!!!!!!!? He still behaves like a spoiled child and it's impossible to have an adult relationship with someone who hasn't matured beyond the age of 12.

I could write pages describing in excruciating detail the stunts Mark has pulled through the years. His behavior ranges from the plain ridiculous all the way up to purposefully hurtful and mean-spirited. This rant stems from new information I received about his recent behavior regarding the fact that Granny Traylor is recovering from a broken hip. This sort of situation is what the Marks of the world live for. Mark enters stage left (because all the world is a stage to him) and makes a complete idiot of himself. He postures and make grand statements about the way things should be done all the while revealing how little he knows. The problem is that he won't take direction from anyone because he perceives any help as an attack on him personally. So instead of everyone concentrating on how to help Granny, they are trying to figure out how to word something like "Can you not drop your child off at the hospital for your elderly mother to babysit from her sickbed?" without hurting Mark's feelings. (By the way...I didn't make that up.) And really, should that ever be a question that you actually have to utter?

So, I am going to pray for Mark. I'm going to pray that the rest of the family will show restraint because I don't want to visit my mom or dad in Angola. I'm going to pray that Mark will pull his head out of his posterior for once and see how he is pushing his family further and further away. I'm going to pray for a miracle.

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